I see fat people... and they're running

Here's one thing I just can't understand. FAT PEOPLE RUNNING. And I don't mean fat as in a little chubby, or with a bit of "baby fat". No no no no... *shaking head vigorously*

Not looking like this -->

I'm talking really fat. Like borderline-obese fat.

Lord knows I love me some meat on ladies, but there's a very thick line between the typa thick I like and unacceptably large! A thick one. Fos instance, if you can't life your leg without assistance... but that's a story for another day!

I'm sure they're just following doctors' orders, but let's get real here. Who's gonna help you if you're out on the road sweating last night's midnight binge off? Who's gonna carry you?

Here's how I reckon these people end up running around in the streets...

1. (S)he's chilling at home at a healthy weight. Has nothing better to do, so they start having "snacks" in front of the TV or computer coz they're so bored.
2. Two years down the line, they're at an uncontrollable weight due to all the hobbilessness and binge eating.
3. They get a mini-heart attack, get rushed to the hospital, and get instructed to either join a gym, start excercising or eating healthier.
4. So they figure there's a loophole somewhere. So they decide to rather keep eating whatever they want and run it off.
   A win-win solution, right? WRONG!!!
5. And that's how they end up jiggling all over the streets!

Simple. Isn't it?

Here's an even simpler solution:

1. Don't eat EVERYTHING in sight!
2. Eat healthy foods, you don't have to eat healthy when you hit 200+ kilograms.
3. Run (or whatever) NOW! Don't wait till you have to do it!
4. Don't wait till it's too late!

See, it's 4 simple steps versus your 5-step programme. Think about it.

ATT: Fat people

• If you're extremely huge for reasons other than over-eating, laziness, "I-love-me-some-McDonald's", eating when you should be sleeping, sleeping while you're eating, eating while you're sleeping, eating unhealthy food, etc. Ignore this blog post. Actually... DON'T READ IT AT ALL! Stop reading!
• PLEASE DON'T SIT ON ME!
  

Deuces!

:p

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Fitness makes you lazy

Ok, been meaning to write this since last weekend already.

I was watching TV the other day (a Saturday). And they while waiting for something better to come on, I was unexpectedly bombarded by 2 to 3 of those: "Burn calories while doing nothing" ads.

It dawned on me that these people are targeting the very same people that need the exercise. The ones that are too lazy to take the stairs instead of the lift. You know, the ones who just refuse to walk for more than 5 minutes to the store around the corner simply because they'd much rather call Mr Delivery?

You hear the super-excited voice-over guy tell you how you'll burn more calories (or whatever they're called) than you would in a gym, on the tredmill or even running a few laps.

And that's their selling point.

The fact that you just have to sit there and something strapped around your waist will do all the work for you. You just sit and grin at the TV. The rest is totally up to this "new & improved" gadget. And there's always some skinny blonde who "totally loves" this new ab-gimmick. And "it totally works" for some reason.

Then there's that other one that you stand on and vibrates you whole body. Miraculously... also better than walking, the gym, tredmill and running combined. Coz God-fobid you wouldn't wanna damage your knees and ankles using them for exactly what they were created for! Rather step onto some vibrating gadget and it'll shake the fat right off of your lazy ass.

You don't even have to break a sweat apparently. That's just how effective it is. It works so well, you don't have to sweat. Sweating is for losers!

Another brilliant selling point is the fact that you never have time to exercise. So this amazing new gadget is just what you need. It doesn't take up much of your time, all you need is 10 minutes and you're done, you'll be feeling as good as new.

I say bullshit!

Obviously you won't be climbing on that damn thing in your work clothes right? This means you'll have to change into your gym clothes, go into the next room (garage or whatever) and vibrate yourself into fitness paradise. Then 10-15 minutes later you're don. Sounds easy enough right? I doubt it.

All this techniology's taking up so many of what we're meant to do naturally (except vibrate your whole body) and making them sound so convenient and healthy that fat bastards all over the world are falling over themselves (excuse the pun) to get their hands on the latest lazyman's toy.

Fuck that shit.

Just get off your ass and do something that actually involves the dreaded natural movements of actually lifting something, walking or running around like somebody's chasing you; even if it's on a tredmill, atleast you're doing something.

I feel sorry for the white people, coz they're the target market for all this junk that's being advertised about staying young and skinny.

Pity black people are also following the I'm-too-lazy-to-exercise trend.

*sigh*

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