Enough Soweto already!

I'm sick and tired of everything happening in Soweto! Seriously.

I know it's the biggest township yada yada and all that jazz, but seriously, there are other more deserving townships and communities in South Africa!

Everything that has anything to do with charity or some needy community anywhere in SA, always takes place in Soweto for some reason. As if all the other townships are fine and Soweto's playing catch-up. Why is that?

If there's any charoty that needs blankets to fight off the winter cold... guess where it is... SOWETO!
Nike built some soccer thing "for disadvantaged communities" and guess where it is? That's right... SO-freaking-WETO!

Why?

Do these big international companies even know about other more deserving, far less priveleged communities anywhere else in South Africa? I don't think so.

Yes, there may be some parts of Soweto that aren't as developed as others, but that's not the issue. What about those communities/townships that have nothing at all to begin with? How many townships you know have a fully fledged mall? A mall, in the hood. How many? I only know of one. And guess where it is... SOWETO!

Hasn't Soweto got enough facilities and tourist attractions already? How many people know about the other parts of this beautiful country of ours?

When tourists come to South Africa some go to the beach, others go on some Safari... where do the rest go? Again... SOWETO!

Why are all the other provinces not doing as much to promote the history, heritage and overall exposure of their townships?
Or maybe let me as this... What needs to happen in your community before you have enough reason to market it as a tourist destination? Do we need another political uprising? A billionnaire to build a mall around your block?

Get up and do something! Invest in your own. Otherwise Soweto's gonna take over.

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The King has fallen

Damn, I was so shocked to hear the death of the World's greatest performer. The man who made wearing pants that don't touch your ankles with white shoes the coolest thing ever.

The guy who I was convinced, after seeing the music video to Do You Remember, was a magician. The part where he turns himself into dust to avoid being captured by Eddie Murphy's men.

The mini-movie Thriller, where he changed from human to zombie to human to zombie again, had me completely convinced that the late Michael Jackson had some magical superpowers.

His walking on tiles and how they glowed, also fooled me into believing that he had some sort of electricity constantly flowing through his body. I mean, how many people do you know who can make concrete glow as they step on it? Exactly!

You can't blame me, I was young and believed everything I wathed him do.

His videos were by far the best thing to watch. Wathing him dance had me believe that I could move just as smooth.

The world's greatest performer!

May his soul rest in peace.

I'm really sad that he died. He's always been one of those people you never think they'd die. He was back on tour for godssakes!

Articles:

• Mail & Guardian article
• His life in pictures
• More pics

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Starry starry night...

So this guy...

Who works here...


Was asked to do a pretty eaasy job. A job he basically does every day. He's a tattoo artist. His name: Rouslan Toumaniantz a nice innocent looking guy you wouldn't really wanna bump into in a dark alley on any given night.

read more on my tattoo blog...

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Monster: "I ain't a monster"

I have been trying my best to avoid writing about this because it's almost on every other blog...

But to come out and tell the world how "not a monster" you are... is just...

Anyway...

In case you've been living under a rock for the past few months... here's the deal:

Actor, singer and songwriter Chris Brown, has released a video on the ever popular "Broadcast Yourself" webste YouTube claiming that he's gonna release a new album and ending with the words "I ain't a monster". And his friend Bow Wow adding with... "belie'e [read: believe] that".




Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with broadcasting yourself and telling your "real fans" that you're not a monster. But let's take a sneak peak at what you've done so far to prove that you're "not a monster" shall we...?

Dear Mr Not-A-Monster, Please don't sue me for this. This is stuff that's been fed to me by the media, seeing as I wasn't there.

Ok, let's continue...

1. You had "an altercation" with your girlfriend.
2. You allegedly beat her up.
2.1. You beat a woman up like she was a grown-ass man.
3. You're trying to open a case against the cops

Now let's break it down...

1. You allegedly had an "altercation" with your girlfriend

Nothing wrong with this. I'm pretty sure many of people out there have had and are possibly gonna continue to have "altercations" with their partners.
I guess it's just one of those things that are included in the relationship package. The down side of them if you will...

I'm using the word "altercation" because that's what the media has labeled it.

I, for one, can safely say I have never had an "altercation" that has led to what you did next...

2. You allegedly beat her up

I have no idea what made you decide to escalate the alleged "altercation" to a full on assault. But you did.

Which led to this:

Now, I'm no expert when it comes to analysing pics or anything like that. But this pretty much looks like how you'd beat up a guy who was trying to take your life.

So...

2.1. You allegedly beat a woman up like she was a grown-ass man

There's absolutely nothing on the face of this planet that she could've possibly done to deserve being beat up like this. Nothing. Whatever the reason may have been at the time. Whatever made you decide to lay your hands on her, is never a reason to beat a woman like that.

I don't care who you are, there's absolutely no reason.

If you feel like you can't handle the situation, do the next logical thing... walk away. Yes, you can be tempted to "knock some sense into her", but don't. It's not necessary. If you can't talk it out, shut-up and walk away.

3. You're trying to open a case against the cops for leaking evidence

Hmm... let's see... how about you DON'T beat women up? Let's start there. How about you start by NOT providing a need for evidence? Won't that work out better for you??

I'm jut saying here. *shoulder shrug*

---

Now that we've got that out of the way...

I don't understand how Rihanna's father can support her daughter's decision to get back together with the Aint-A-Monster in question. What kind of father does that?

If that were my daughter or any of the women in my life I would be sharing court dates with the Monster. I promise, I wouldn't hold back. I don't understand how anyone should be raising their hand to a woman in the first place.

I know there are situations that can raise temperatures so high that you end up doing things out of anger, (trust me) but what this guy did is totally inexcusable.

I hope he goes to jail. I don't hope he gets raped or anything like that (though that's not really up my hoping or not) but I just hope he goes there, and gets beaten up a couple of times. That's all. Even if it's for weeks on end. Just don't kill him, I like his music... :)

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Reality sucks

Breaking news!

Apparently the last two finalists on idols are gonna share the winnings (i.e. the car, the recording contact, etc.). [read more about it here]

But that's not what I wanna talk about. I wanna tackle the whole issue surrounding the state of international reality TV shows syndicated in SA.

I think we're a real disgrace when it comes to these kind of things. I think we're too concerned with not being hated that we're losing credibility by the owners of the TV shows we're meant to be promoting on our side. I mean it's now two TV shows that are genetically a "one winner takes it all" affair, and yet we've managed once again to fuck the system up.

When The Apprentice - my most favourite reality show - was gonna have a local version. I was flipping excited. I was anxious to see what the locally successful people would bring to the table in terms of quality entertainment. Needless to say, I wasn't disappointed by the very first boardroom meeting where Mr Tokyo Sexwale (former politicial cum businessman) had to fire someone... and instead of the generic "you're fired!!!" made famous by The Donald he goes and rapes it with... wait for it... "you're dismissed". Notice how there's no exclamation point? That's because he says it so apologetically, the person beind "dismissed" isn't sure if they're off the show or they have to go stand outside.

Then at the end of the season, where Mr Sexwale has to appoint someone who's gonna join his Mvelaphanda empire (crappy name, I know) he doesn't choose someONE as etched into our TV watching brains. He goes and decides to rearrange the whole thing and hires two apprentices instead (the two seated ladies).

Why you ask?

Because he didn't want the other woman (yes, they're both women) to throw her stiletto at him or something. Basically he decides to rewrite the script for some unknown reason.

Now there's Idols, where they messed up and then make up for it by having two winners. Why?? Why should there be two winners when the guy beat the girl by over 200 000 votes. Makes no sense! How is that validate there being two winners basing it on a tie. I don't know what school the auditors went to, but I'm pretty sure 1.1 million votes is less than 1.3 million. I'm just saying.

Moral of the story... What's the point of even voting when they're gonna give the final two the title?

This is some bullshit.

I wont be surprised if, like The Apprentice, we never get Idols again.

I never watched the damn thing, but my reputation as a South African is at stake here. We should stop being so damn diplomatic about things. If you're a loser, then you're a loser. Tough. You'll get over it.

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Cool money

Apparently, there's a guy in Joburg, who while working at a construction site, stumbled upon a cooler box. And being the black guy he is. And also taking into account the fact that there are always bombs being tucked away 6 metres underground in cooler boxes, he didn't wanna take any chances.

He very immediately alerted his nearest police station. Upon arrival the cops, (note: THE COPS, not the bomb squad) opened the cooler box, only to find... 1.5 million rand. In R50 and R20 notes.

Imagine how dumb this idiot must feel. I'd fucking kill myself. I'd stab myself with a sharp object on the spot.

I mean, what are the chances that there's a massive bomb terrorist going around burrying bombs 6 metres into the earth in case some construction worker can accidentally detonate the thing and blow him to threads? Who would go through the trouble of making a bomb, only to plant it in some obscure location in hopes that it'll blow some random stranger(s) up?

That's dumb.

So what's in it for this dude? Let's see...

First off, he's already gotten enough mention (even if they're keeping him anonymous because of the utter embarrassment he'd face) all over the radio stations, news papers and online. But let's look at what happened first.

He found the money, called the cops to come open a cooler box for him, then what did he get immediately after that? That's right, a thank you. And probably a pat on the back to sweeten the deal. I mean, it's not like the cops were looking for a blue and white cooler box with undisclosed contents in exchange for a big reward?? It's not like he helped the community in any way by removing the potentially catastrophic coller box bomb off the streets and thereby making his working environment a safer place for all?! Great man!!

Imagine his popularity at home now? I'm sure the wife's pissed as hell everytime she sees him.

Like "You fucking idiot, hnow we gonna have tea without milk!"; "Great, now the bread is finished! Useless idiot!"; "Wonderful, we're having chicken again today!"

He could've done anything in the world. He chose to be the good guy who does the right thing.

I'd fucking kill myself, I swear. I'd actively go out looking for a goddamn bomb and blow myself up. I'd even make one, if push came to shove.

Seriously, he's gonna feel like crap everytime he doesn't have money for anything.

He's a fucking construction worker! He finds a cooler box. Why didn't he at least think that it might contain some beer or food or something else other than a stupid bomb. I don't understand. Even if it were, what are the chances that HE's the lucky bastard to find a bomb burried in the ground?

I doubt the Mayor of the town will actually give him some money as a token of appreciation. He'll probaby get a key to the city and that's about it. What do you need a key for? It's not like there's a place where only people with keys hang out and laugh at all the other idiots without keys; and now you have full access to that area?! I seriously doubt that. Even if he/she does give him smoney, it sure as hell wont be R1.5m.

Imagine what he could've done with all that money?

He could've very nicely told his stuck up boss to go to the nearest hell. Fed his family for yeeeears. Upgraded his life as whole basically.

I doubt he would've gone to school to learn something to make that R1.5m grow. He probably would be dead in two weeks. You know how black people always wanna show off? After buying a round of drinks for everyone at the local drinking hole. He would have proudly made an announcement that he;s now a millionnaire and no-one can touch him. Only to turn up two weeks later with 148 stab wounds. Talk about being untouchable.

I guess it's a good thing he did.

Good for you guy, you're a good South African citizen. That's the spirit. Trust the cops to open a cooler box for you simply because they're wearing a uniform. That doesn't make them less immune to getting blown up. And you were probably not too far from the box when it was opened, so you were gonna get fucked up anyway.

Shit.

Now he's stuck doing construction for years to come. He wont quit his job, every site he goes to, he'll be opening up shit. In hopes it'll have even a ten rand note in there.

Not gonna happen. Ever.

You stayed up all night praying to God to help you with your financial status, and when He does, you hand it over to the cops? He's not making that mistake again. Trust me.

//article

*edit: that's not him in the pics.

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Blind rape

Just saw this in the paper this morning.

There's a blind man (40) who's being accused of having raped a 20 year old woman in Mpumalanga, South Africa.

Now, what I don't understand is how exactly could this happen? No really, I tried working on as many scenarios as humanly possible, like maybe the girl lived with the man and while she was sleeping, the guy took advantage of her or something. I don't know.

But still, in any event, why didn't the girl just ran away or fight him off or something? How did he know what to do? How did he know he was raping a woman dumb enough not to do anything about it until afterwards?

I'm thinking the woman consented to it, then cried rape afterwards. After thinking about how embarrassing it could be if the guy told all his blind friends about that heated moment of passion with her.

Either that, or it was just pity-sex. And then she started getting embarrassed when her friends realised what had happened or after she told them about feeling the warmth or a blind man.

I don't actually know any blind people, so I can't really say whether this guy was aware of his actions or he was just blinded by his raging hormones. Excuse the pun.

Maybe they were in a relationship all along, and when it came to consumating it, the girl went through with the plan until only during the act, and changed her mind. Leaving the man blue-balled and fuming. LOL.

Ok, I gotta stop.

Hope it all turns out okay, I also hope the woman is alright.

Peace.

article: Blind rape

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Hunger strike

Ok, maybe it's just me here, but how does a hunger strike actually solve anything?

I mean really. You starve yourself in order to try and convice people to change their minds about something. Or at least that's how I see it.

What I don't understand is how people actually end up giving in when people threaten (and sometimes follow through) with a hunger strike. Why do that? Why not just leave these people to starve themselves. Afterall it's a choice they're making. How many people out there will sell their left arms to get even a stale slice of bread to even nibble on? Millions! There are thousands and thousands of people who go to bed on an empty stomach not by choice, but because of the simple fact that there's nothing to eat.
And you CHOOSE to starve yourself to prove a point. Go right ahead. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. Please, by all means, go ahead and not eat anything. How that benefits the people of Zimbabwe? I have no clue.
How does not touching the food in your fridge benefit people who don't even have water in their fridges? I'll tell you how... it doesn't. That's how.

The people for whom you are busy going on strike for, would much rather you actually do something about it apart from standing at a street corner picketting on an empty stomach.

Here's an idea: since you're not eating the food, why not have it shipped off to those very same people you're starving yourself for?

Do that instead.

Shit.

ar ticle: Hunger strike for Zim

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New and exciting ways to kill yourself!

That's right.



Coming to a depression clinic near you. How to kill yourself in 3 easy steps, that's right 3 easy steps.

Are you ready?

Let's go.

Ever noticed how many people are all over the papers for killing members of their family? Yes, sad, very very sad stuff right there. Then you read furhter and find out that the guy (usually it's a guy, no idea why) pointed the gun at himself and is "in a critical condition in hospital"? Irritating isn't it?
Well, if you think that's irritating, can you imagine what the guy's going through? Not only did he kill his whole family and therefore incurring a whole lot of unwanted misery in his life, he also has to live with the fact that he's such an idiot he can't even kill himself properly. Also at the back of his bedridden mind is those bloody ambulance people who resuscitated him after he tried and failed to kill himself.

How smart do you have to be to know what the most fool-proof way of killing yourself is?

I mean really.

I know this might be a touchy subject for some, but let's be real about this. Do these people realise the unneccesary stress and trauma they're putting themselves and those closest to them through? Do they even care? And by care, I mean care enough to do it right? LOL sorry... just had to throw that curveball in there.

Ok so I know you're reading this with anticipation of some proper How To instructions on executing your master plan. So here goes...

• First and fore most, identify your reasons and prioritize them. Allow me to break it down...




• You're in debt. You kill yourself. Problem solved. Right? No. That's a stupid reason. Scratch it off your list. Here's why: let's say you succeed in killing yourself over your debt; what happens after that? First off, you decided to kill your self in hopes that your debts will go away with you. Well, they didn't. Instead, you left behind a truckload of debt, which results in your house getting auctioned off to pay off your huge debt. Your car gets reposessed. Your wife is now a widow. Your kids are miserable their whole life and have to wear clothes from Salvation Army because you were careless with your money by accumulating a lotta debt you couldn't pay off. Everyone in your immediate family starts fighting over your menial inheritance because they all need it to survive after you took the stupid way out.
  So, no. Debt is not a good enough reason. Moving along...
  


• Your wife/girlfriend/gay partner decided to dump your ass. Kill yourself. Simple solution right? No. You die, he/she/it moves right along to the next sorry loser. The same sorry loser who was comforting her at your sorry ass burial. Comes to her on some "He would want you to be happy" crap. One thing leads to another. You're a memory long forgotten. Turns out love is not a good enough reason either. So we move along...
  


• The above mentioned better-half, is cheating. It's wrong yes. Boo hoo. Kill yourself. Great idea, no? No. Not great. You die. He/she still does the exact same thing you killed yourself for. And possibly even more than when you caught her with that midget in your expensive King sized bed on which you consumated your marriage. Sad really. But is it worth dying for? I don't think so... do you? I hope not.
  


• You lost your job or you got fired. Kill yourself some more. No. You die, the company reappoints a new guy to do the same job you killed yourself for. Usually the ad for your position will be out within the same week your family's mourning. So unemployement is not a good enough reason either. Crap, looks like you're running out of 'solid' reasons guy, what to do now? Oh noes...
  


• Your favourite soccer team loses. Oh no! Who would want to live after such a thing. Kill yourself. No. The same team you killed yourself for, actually has another match in two weeks time. And they're gonna win. Where will you be? That's right. You'll be dead.
  Even worse. The same team you killed yourself for, they all get paid around the same amount of money you were getting paid per annum every month. Do they shed a tear about your "untimely" death? I guess not. I wouldn't know. I'm not there when all the adoring female fans throw themselves at them over the terrible game they played. Where are you by the way? Oh, you're dead. Leaving behind all the joys of the world. So soccer or any other game for that matter, is out.
  


• Ok, so let's say you've managed to look past all the reasons I've mentioned. And you still feel you need to leave this cruel cruel World. Go for it. But how? Here's how...




• First of all make sure nobody's gonna find you. Locking yourself in your bedroom is not a great idea. Especially if you live with your mother, father, uncle, weed-smoking aunt, your ex-con half brother, his crack-addict girlfriend who happens to be the one who always asked you for money to buy another hit and of course the neighbours et al. I can guarantee you, your plan will not work. You might die yes, but most definately not from killing yourself. It may be from being killed. But not of your own means, but from your stupidity. 1) Your mother will kick some sense into your ass (not literally, but she will beat you up) for trying to kill yourself. 2) Your dad will want a piece of you for being a coward and killing yourself. 3) Your uncle will destroy you because you're the one he was hoping to get to marry the sweet girl from across the street. 4) Your aunt will beat you up for absolutely no reason, coz she's high. 5)Your brother will beat the shit outta you for trying to get him back into jail; where he was made into a sex slave by Big Joe who's serving a life sentece [so he knows for a fact that if he goes back to jail for your death, BJ will be there. Waiiting.] he's not having any of it. 5) His girlfriend will kill you for trying to take away the only other source of cash. So might as well not do it you see?
  
  Then there's the life long "He tried to kill himself... twice." You don't want that hanging over your head for the rest of your life do you? I didn't think so.
  


• Know your body. This is very important. Shooting yourself will kill you. Only if you do it right. Shooting yourself might kill you, but depends on where you shoot. Your heart is not that vein in your arm that has a pulse. Shooting yourself there is stupid. Don't do it. See the points in bullet number one.
  


• Drinking a whole 750ml bottle of alcohol will not kill you. A 43% alcohol volume is nothing. You might end up excessively stupid & drunk, but you wont die. Again, see the points in bullet number one.
  


• The last thing you need to consider, the consequences. What happens after you successfully kill yourself? What does that solve? Suicide has never solved anything. It most definately never will. What makes you think your death will solve anything anyways?

People who kill themselves are useless diots. [full stop] I'm talking to males here, coz they're the ones who kill themselves the most. Cowards.

read some more here...

I got tired of typing.

Peace & Love

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The tour [part 1] - Number Four

Ok, as promised...

I went and did it.

There're six main sections to the Constitution Hill.
Namely:

• Constitution Square,
• Old Fort,
• Women's Jail,
• Constitutional Court,
• Great African Steps, and
• Number Four.

So I went and explored Number Four today.

Number four was basically a prison where political prisoners and other "criminals" (I put that in inverted commas because most of them were arrested for refusing to carry their passbooks and marching - like Mahatma Ghandi for instance.)

Prisoners where treated in extremely inhumane ways, where they were severely punished and beaten for meaningless things (at times a 1 prisoner would be beaten by all the wardens in the prison). They were subjected to strip searches. The Black prisoners were strip searched by Black warders. They were made to do degrading things like open their rectums so the warders could see if they had smuggled anything in. Notoriously known as the Tauza dance.

While there were some white prisoners as well. They were treated like royalty. They never ate the same food more than 2 days in a row (unlike Black prisoners), they had a menu from which to choose what they wanted to eat; they were given pillows, pillow cases, bedspreads, a slim mattress, 3 blankets, etc. Basically anything they needed to make their stay as comfortable as possible. Whereas the black people were only given 3 blankets. That's it. 3 blankets.

Anyway...

As I continue on my pursuit of education; I've seen how the old system was treating our black brethren. And it sickens me that today's prisoners demand they have DSTv installed in their cells. WHAT THE FUCK FOR? I don't even have DSTv! I work 40hrs a week, and I still don't have it. It's bad enough that I have money deducted from my salary every month to pay for your daily meals, now you wanna take that money and pay up your DSTv subscription? WHY?
Even the fact that they have TVs to begin with pisses me the fuck off. They're there to be punished for the wrongs they have inflicted upon society.
The Black prisoners at Number Four had done nothing wrong. Most of what they did was deemed illegal because of the fucked up apartheid system. Sucks that the youth of today wanna use prison as some sort of recreational center instead of what it was meant to be... an institution put in place to rehabilitate them. And yet most up-and-coming criminals aspire to be sent to prison because they'll at least get to watch TV and get some drugs while they're at it.

Shit is fucked up!

article: DSTV in jail

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June 16, 1976

How come every time Youth Day comes around, all we ever hear about is how Hector Peterson was the first one to get shot and how young he was. How he got carried by some guy who's never been seen since?

What about the first girl that was shot? Does anyone ever think of building a First Girl to be Shot Memorial? Let's face it. Chances are, Hector wasn't the first one to get shot. He is probably the first one to get shot and have his picture taken moments after.

Why is it that all we're bombarded with is how bad the day was, but always from the same people. Same people every year. Honestly, can we make these people any richer? People are making money from all these interviews and magazine covers and whatnots.

What about the first policeman to get hit in the head by a flying brick fresh from an angry student's hand? What about the policeman who actually tried to save lives on the day. Lest we forget that most of the policemen involved in the student shootings were black. Because all the black man and woman was "good" at was either being a teacher, a nurse or a policeman. And yet all you ever hear about is how much the black youth emancipated themselves from Afrikaaner oppression. Why?

Why don't the other "Struggle heroes" ever get some airplay? You can't tell me the ones gracing our screens every year are the only other ones left.

How come we're only getting the story from only one side of Soweto? I mean, being the largest township in the country (if not the world), you would expect to at least get coverage of the uprising from all angles. But all you ever hear about is the riots that started at Morris Isaacson High School, and very little is said about Naledi High Shool.

Do you even know who Hastings Ndlovu is? If I ask you the same question about Hector Pieterson, will your answer be the same?

- Paper

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Black on black...

In light of all the kak that's been happening in South Africa lately...

I've been trying to blog about this since the Monday. I've srapped so many posts, I just couldn't find the right words to sum up what's been happening lately.

Someone just emailed me this. And I think it puts everything nicely into one sensible thing...

I might not be a South African

But I’m black, my skin is the same as yours
My colour is the same as yours
My genes are African, nothing but African
When your leaders were beaten by whites
I was there to shelter them
I was patient with them
I offered them food, shelter,
Most of all, I offered them protection

I might be a South African

I can’t speak Zulu, cause I’m Vhenda
I can’t speak Zulu, cause I’m Shangaan
I don’t know what an elbow is in Zulu
As much as you don’t know it in my language
Since when was Zulu the only South African language?
Yes……………I’m not from Gauteng
I was not born here, but I’m South African
Where should I go if you beat me
I’m not beating your father, mother, brother or sister who works at my area in the mines
I’m not calling them makwerekwere though they can’t speak my language.

I might be dark in complexion

I might have the foreigners looks
I might have the foreigners body structure
Now I am scared to go to the only place that I call home
I’m scared of working down the street without my ID
Whites wanted me to do that centuries ago
Now you, my black brother is acting white

Why should you Black South Africans do this?

What makes you think that you better than me?
Who told you that I’m responsible for your unemployment?
Who told you that I’m less human
If I need to go back to Vhenda...let all the Zulus go back to KZN
Let all the Tswana’s go back to Botswana
Let all the Sotho’s go back to Lesotho
Let all the Ndebele’s go back to Kwandebele
Let all the Xhosa’s go back to Eastern Cape
Yes... let all the Swati’s go back to Swaziland

Is this not ignorance?

Your unemployment is your responsibility
Use your intellect
Get up and work
Let education empower you
Seek humanity

Before 1994 you blamed whites
Now you are blaming me
Who are you going to blame after chasing me away?
Who are you going to blame after killing me?

For what it’s worth...

I’m sorry I was not born here
I’m sorry I can’t speak Zulu
I’m sorry for being too dark for your Joburg
I’m sorry for cleaning the toilets you don’t want to clean
I’m sorry for doing your garden
I’m sorry for repairing your shoes
I’m sorry for protecting your leaders while they were in Exile
Yes... what you call Exile...is my country
And most of all... I’m sorry for building South African infrastructure

Please my brothers let there be peace and prosperity amongst black African people.

Written by a Teary Black African...

I don't know who wrote the original piece, so I'm not too sure who to credit.

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Street-vendors get sunglasses!!!

I heard on the news this morning that all the street vendors in Joburg would be geeting sunglasses as part of an awareness programme to promote protecting your eyes against thee harmful rays of the sun.

so I thought... yay!

wait... no...

Imagine buying newspaper from your local traffic light vendor and he comes up to you wearing sunglasses...

won't that just look weird??

Ok I understand that they are trying to create awareness around taking care of your eyes and stuff, but the whole sunglass wearing thing is not very popular among black people.

Black people see wearing sunglasses as making yourself look nice. Not so much about preventing getting your retinas burnt ultimately causing blindness and so on...

Anywayz... think of it, how many black people have you seen wearing shades at any given time compared to whites or any other races?? I'm sure there's at least 2 to every 20...

I'm not gonna lie and say I wear shades everytime I'm in the sun. Coz truth is, I don't. But at least I have a good reason why I don't. It's simply because I'm wearing spectacles most of the time. And I can't really see that well without them (I'm short-sighted) futher than 2-3 meters things start to get pretty blurry. Especially people's faces. Now how the hell am I supposed to find Ms Right-Now if i only notice her when she's a few feet away from me?? That's not really gonna improve my chances is it?? I didn't think so...

Funny enough, the thing about black people wearing shades to finish off a stunning outfit. Only exists within black people. More often than not. You find people (blacks) making a fuss about seeing another black person (male or female) wearing shades. They/we never see it simply as another human being taking care of their eyes...

I think black people concern themselves with useless things... coz one thing you'll start noticing is them asking what brand they are (the shades) and how much they cost and where they were bought. It's so frustrating sometimes...

If only this awareness programme went beyond the street vendors and into the corporate world. you'll be surprised how many people actually own a decent pair of sunglasses. Out of about 10 of us in my section only 2 of us actually have sunglasses. And neither of us wear them on our way to work/during lunch/after work. But rest asured, we make damn sure that we have them on as we're heading to the mall on Saturday...

Educate yourself black man!

Sunglasses were not designed for you to boast among your friends about what brand they are and how much they cost or to have something to put at the top of your head when you're at a party or indoors.

I'm out!

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