A quest for fame! - Who doesn't wanna be famous?

Ever since I can remember, I've alwways wanted to be on TV. ( That sounded like the generic answer to "Why do you wanna be on TV" LOL ) I think much of it has to do with the fact that I have successfully managed to spend a whole lotta time watching the damn thing. I was exposed to a whole lot of mediocrity on TV and always felt that I could do better.

Well, it doesn't seem like this dream is too out of reach now. It seems every other music show on TV is looking for new presenters.

I'm convinced this is my chance. My time to shine!

Ever since the first ad for presenters aired on SABC1's LIVE, I've bee trying and trying to register on their Ning based social network. No idea why the thing always kept giving me errors. But it did. Each and every time. No matter what time of day. And the errors were always the same. Either something's missing, or they're experiencing a high volume of entries.
Look:

Anywho, I've since given up on that avenue. And just this morning, I was getting bored with watching the news when I decided to check out some music videos on Channel O. And the first thing that came up was an ad for new presenters for one of their shows called O-Access.

Currently, the show's hosted by Nonhle Thema. I guess they want somebody to help her out or something. I mean, it can't be easy travelling all over the world interviewing high profile celebrities. I can understand. Not relate. Understand. I'll relate when I'm the one doing it. :)

This brings me to the question: "who is best suited for this job but me?"

And subsequently, that then leads to the answer (in the words of Keith Sweat): "Nobody baby!"

I'ma do this!

See you on the flip side!

Deuces!

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Monster: "I ain't a monster"

I have been trying my best to avoid writing about this because it's almost on every other blog...

But to come out and tell the world how "not a monster" you are... is just...

Anyway...

In case you've been living under a rock for the past few months... here's the deal:

Actor, singer and songwriter Chris Brown, has released a video on the ever popular "Broadcast Yourself" webste YouTube claiming that he's gonna release a new album and ending with the words "I ain't a monster". And his friend Bow Wow adding with... "belie'e [read: believe] that".




Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with broadcasting yourself and telling your "real fans" that you're not a monster. But let's take a sneak peak at what you've done so far to prove that you're "not a monster" shall we...?

Dear Mr Not-A-Monster, Please don't sue me for this. This is stuff that's been fed to me by the media, seeing as I wasn't there.

Ok, let's continue...

1. You had "an altercation" with your girlfriend.
2. You allegedly beat her up.
2.1. You beat a woman up like she was a grown-ass man.
3. You're trying to open a case against the cops

Now let's break it down...

1. You allegedly had an "altercation" with your girlfriend

Nothing wrong with this. I'm pretty sure many of people out there have had and are possibly gonna continue to have "altercations" with their partners.
I guess it's just one of those things that are included in the relationship package. The down side of them if you will...

I'm using the word "altercation" because that's what the media has labeled it.

I, for one, can safely say I have never had an "altercation" that has led to what you did next...

2. You allegedly beat her up

I have no idea what made you decide to escalate the alleged "altercation" to a full on assault. But you did.

Which led to this:

Now, I'm no expert when it comes to analysing pics or anything like that. But this pretty much looks like how you'd beat up a guy who was trying to take your life.

So...

2.1. You allegedly beat a woman up like she was a grown-ass man

There's absolutely nothing on the face of this planet that she could've possibly done to deserve being beat up like this. Nothing. Whatever the reason may have been at the time. Whatever made you decide to lay your hands on her, is never a reason to beat a woman like that.

I don't care who you are, there's absolutely no reason.

If you feel like you can't handle the situation, do the next logical thing... walk away. Yes, you can be tempted to "knock some sense into her", but don't. It's not necessary. If you can't talk it out, shut-up and walk away.

3. You're trying to open a case against the cops for leaking evidence

Hmm... let's see... how about you DON'T beat women up? Let's start there. How about you start by NOT providing a need for evidence? Won't that work out better for you??

I'm jut saying here. *shoulder shrug*

---

Now that we've got that out of the way...

I don't understand how Rihanna's father can support her daughter's decision to get back together with the Aint-A-Monster in question. What kind of father does that?

If that were my daughter or any of the women in my life I would be sharing court dates with the Monster. I promise, I wouldn't hold back. I don't understand how anyone should be raising their hand to a woman in the first place.

I know there are situations that can raise temperatures so high that you end up doing things out of anger, (trust me) but what this guy did is totally inexcusable.

I hope he goes to jail. I don't hope he gets raped or anything like that (though that's not really up my hoping or not) but I just hope he goes there, and gets beaten up a couple of times. That's all. Even if it's for weeks on end. Just don't kill him, I like his music... :)

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I was having a good day until...

Today started off ok.

Was working at a killa pace, until I decided to take a tehno-break and go wandering off into cyberspace.

First, I wanted to check where my blogs were standing on Afrigator.co.za when I realised my position had dropped dismally for both my blogs (this one and SkinArt). tehPaperCut (the one you're reading this on) has dropped from #669 a while ago (can't remember when last I checked) to #2107 in South Africa.

To make that even worse, I was welcomed by a big-ass banner ananouncing how I had missed nominations for this year's BlogAwards.

Like I said, today was off to a good start until I realised one thing; I don't blog as much as I used to. But can you blame me? I have around five websites that I have to work on at least on a daily basis. Prioritising has kicked my other personal stuff down to the very bottom of this here list of five.
Add to that designs I do on the side and for work. My 16 hour days are just not long enough. :'(

I'm more torn up by missing the BlogAwards than dropping to #2107. :'(

This clearly shows that I had very little to do at my other jobs if I blogged as much as I did.

This could be seen as a good thing, but I'm a bit undecided on that one...

I gotta get back on top of my game, there's no other way!

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Next round of double standards is on me

So there I was, chilin on Facebook, when I came across an open request for a bootlegged copy of Microsoft Office.


Didn't really think much of it, but when I checked who had made this unapologetic request, I was a bit suprised with a dash of disapointment.


It was none other than... our very own... successful local poet Ms Ntsiki Mazwai. That's right, the very same younger sister to Thandiswa Mazwai and Nomsa Mazwai's older sister.


I'm not too sure what to think of this particular setup, whether to think less of her becuase she's crossed over to the piracy side of the anti-piracy bandwaggon that almost all South African artists have come to preach so much; of to basically appreciate the fact that she's afterall a regular South African who wont pay R7000+ for the software??

I dunno.

I guess I appreciate the fact that as an artist with 5000 friends on FB, the bravery in that alone is amazing. Imagine if somebody from the Business Software Alliance was one of her 'friends' and raised the flag. That would have turned out to be one of those 'we want to make an example of her' situations where a miinor issue is used as an example at all the anti-piracy campaigns by the BSA.

Well, I hope it doesn't get any further than this.

If you're that guy ripping, burning and selling local music CDs like there's no tomorrow... have faith, there's hope out there for you, even the stars themselves are doing it. Don't stop till you get enough.

No, wait, I'm not endorsing piracy or anything here, I'm just saying... since it's considered okay (by Ms Mazwai herself) to illegally copy and distribute international software, I guess it should also be okay to open your own manufacturing and distribution center in your own backyard.

At least that's what I'm getting from all this...





*sigh*


I don't know about you, but I expected something different...


// more here...

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Strippers can't/don't walk

Let's face it, walking is pretty simple. All you have to do is just put one foot in front of the other, and move towards a direction (usually foward). Very easy. As a child you spent a long time trying to master this fine art of walking. You fell on your behind a few times, but that didn't stop you. You got up and tried and tried and tried again. Up to the point where you don't even have to think about it anymore. Great! Good for you. Congratulations!

I don't know a lotta strippers. In fact, I don't know any strippers at all. Not one. But after watching an episode of 30 Rock last night, I realised something. I've never actually seen a stripper walk. Not once. (Except in movies when they chase after the good guy who happens to see the good in them, and wants to take them out, treat them like real women. You know the drill.)

Anyway, so I'm watching this great new sitcom that's only been introduced to our TV screens on Monday. And in this particular episode (I think it's the first, I dunno) the main actress is out at a strib club with Tracy Morgan, in what was initially just a simple lunch meeting.
So they end up at this strip club, and I noticed how none of the strippers actually walk anywhere. They don't walk. They sorta dance their way wherever they wanna go.

It's like they're stripping while 'walking' towards stripping.

Especially the lapdancers, everything is a dance. Picking money up from the floor, walking away after being rejected by potential 'clients', everything.

In fact, I don't think I remember seeing Demi Moore walk anywhere throughout Striptease. I can't even remember how she ended up on that boat, dancing for that guy. I really don't remember. But I remember her dance moves though. I guess that's the whole point for the movie. Maybe they didn't even show her walk. I don't know.

Either they're dancing everywhere or they're crawling. Never just walking. Maybe it's all part of the performace anticipation thing.

"Keep the stripee interested at all times"

If there are any strippers out there, maybe you could clarify this for me.

Or maybe I should dedicate a night out and go to a stripclub; all in the name of research. It's for a good cause. I'll come back and blog about it too.

Everybody wins.

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1 Wish

Before even clicking on 'Create post' I had already written the final words of this post. Is that normal?

Anyways...

1 Wish.

I wish I lived in a country where we didn't have to wait for international artists to grace our shores before we can actually enjoy some good music. I wish we had more local shows you'd sell your sister to go watch. I wish South Africa was a priority when they plan their "World Tours". I wish we got more music in our stores music stores, that we didn't have to wait six weeks to get 340ml's latest album from the supplier or another branch. I wish there was a music store that sells strictly international music, and by international I don't mean American. For some reason, when someone mentions 'international', people immediately think American. I wish they didn't. I wish they didn't have a corner that's marked 'Other' in the music store close to where I live. I get my musc from that corner. I wish I had a broader scope to choose from apart from all this commercialised music. I wish South African musicians would stop making crappy music and expect us to buy it simply because they said 'support local music' at the end of their textbook interviews. I wish we had less commercialised music. House music in particular. Not all of us want commercialised music. Some of us just want music. I wish South African musicians would stop trying to be "international". No one's buying your CD in the US. I don't even think expats are buying your CD. We're the ones subjected to your endless yappings about being "niggas who aint ready fo yo shit". Guess what? If that's the shit we're supposed to be ready for, I'm never gonna be ready. I wish we had musicians who spoke truth to power. Not these people who are just trying to make a quick buck. Why do we have to hold on to every last word spoken by the likes of Tupac, Erykah Badu, Common, Talib Kweli, AD, Slum Village, MosDef, and The Roots? Why can't we have our own messages in song? For some reason, our music only focuses on one portion of music; the partying side of things. We can't party all the time. What happened to the messages. Messages to uplift us.

How come no one in South Africa makes real music anymore? Music is being made
simply because the contract you signed said you have to keep releasing albums for the next 3 years. Even if your content is the same, just as long as you release something. I wish I had more music. I wish I had an iPod. I wish I had better earphones.

All I wish for is music.

Music speaks to me. Music relaxes me. Music excites me. Music fills the spaces in between. Music makes me wanna get up and dance. Music makes me wanna sit down and listen. Music allows me to be. Music comforts me. Music is my friend. Music can never turn on me. Music will never talk about me behind my back. Music is honest. Music is real. Music is escapism in it's truest form. Music is life. I can't imagine a day without music.

Even though they claim that some music makes people kill people. Music doesn't kill people; people kill people! How come you've never heard of someone having done anything positive and it being blamed on music? People have had tons of babies off Barry White's music. That's all you'll ever hear. That people made babies to his music. In South Africa, gospel (after traditional music) is the most popular type of music, the most produced and the most purchased (also the most repetitive, but that's a story for a nother day). And yet, no one does a good thing and blames it on the music.

My one wish is music.

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Development gets Arrested in SA!

One of the greatest HipHop bands (How do you spell HipHop? Is it Hip-Hop or Hip Hop? anyway) to ever put sound on wax, is set to perform in South Africa this month.

Oh hell yes!!

Arrested Development is coming to the Mother Land (they're also going to be in the Mother City) for the second time only in 14 years. (Do the math, last time they were here was in '94 after Mandela's inauguration.) And somewhere in between there, having faught a losing battle with a popular TV series for having used a name simillar to theirs, it's good to see them not having lost their heads.

Having gone from 19 members to 8 kinda makes me wonder if their music is still the same. I guess having 4 new members team up with 4 original members (especially Speech, the lead vocalist) definately strikes a clear balance between the old architects of HipHop and the new kids on the block.

With classics like Everyday People, Mr Windal and Revolution! it promises to be a surefire head-banger for the conscious rhythm and poetry fan. Staying true to the original art form, it'll be rewarding to see people with something worthwhile performing live. After seeing the likes of Snoop and JaRule on SA stages. It's time for something fresh. It's time for the revolution.

• Official site


• Wiki


• Arrested Devlopment, the TV series

Baseline info: Friday, 10 October 2008
Arrested Development South Africa Tour
Live At Bassline Doors
opens @ 20:00pm
Show starts @ 21:00pm
Tickets @ the door: R200Tickets
@ computicket: R220

Cape Town info: Saturday, 11 October 2008
Arrested Development South Africa Tour
Club Galaxy/West End, Cine
400, College Rd, Rylands7764, Cape Town, South Africa (MAP)
Doors open 8pm
Cost:R160.00

These event organising people should start paying me!

Still. If you go and I don't. You know what to do... email me teh pics: papercut[at]brainstormdesigns.co.za

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This is some bullshit!

What the hell!?!

Who the hell decided that ladies should pay less entrance fee at clubs?

I'll have you know, it's these very same girls/women/ladies (being politically correct can be so hard) who end up getting drinks offered at them. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying, if they paid less at the door, why should they not make up for that with the whatever it is they spend their money on inside the club?

As a guy, the chances of you spending more than you intended at any given time at a club, are stacked much higher than those of a girl who just went clubbing with only the entrance fee in her purse.
For some unknown reason, we take it upon ourselves as guys to get every other girl we meet as drunk as humanly possible. Therefore decreasing the chances of getting rejected by the said girl. Either that or we're just hoping they'll be drunk enough to lose all inhibitions and end up actually leaving with you. Not because you're such a nice guy, but mainly because she keeps telling you about how she needs to find the rest of her "girl friends" and how much of a nice guy you are for volunteering to help her search for them. Meanwhile all you're hoping for is that you never find them.

Okay, let's get back on topic here...

Girs usually pay around 50% less than guys do at clubs. Which is totally unfair because the very same girls who paid less at the door will end up feeling a bit otherwise when faced with the 5:1 guy to chick ratio. But you really can't blame us ladies, some of the guys out there couldn't afford the asking price at the door. Plus most of us who could make the cover charge, were really enticed by the 'Ladies FREE Before Midnight!!' marketing strategy. Then when we got to the door realised that that actually meant we're paying double so you girls can come in, and get drunk FOR FREE.

Lemme explain:
Let's say the cover charge for guys is R100. Ok. And girls get in for free before midnight and it's R50.
So basically the cover charge is actually R50 per person. Irrespective of the sex. But while the ladies get in for free, all the guys must pay for their entry. So the club manager doesn't really lose anything. Coz the real entry fee is actually R50, but all the guys are paying for all the girls that got in free while the free entry tule still applied. Thereafter everyone's back to being equal. Even if the guys still pay R100 even after the girls are now required to pay their own fee. Which is a double score for the manager.

Now let's get to the drinks side of things...

So I pay my R100 at the door. Get stamped. Stroll right in. Then immediately, I start scanning the place for some potential beauty to try and impress by buying drinks for her and two of her "cousins".
Okay, so I notice some willingness on her part, as I smoothly ask what she's drinking. She coyly (is that even a word?) flirts right back as she can see some potential free booze flowing her way. Enough to get her drunk enough to decide (at the end of the night) that she'll be leaving with her so-called cousins. Who might actually be some bored room mates of hers who had nothing better to do on the night in question.
Anyway... so I keep the alchy (short for Alcohol) coming on strong, to no objection of the fine young ladies who provide nothing else but jeers from other guys in my direction. To which I don't mind as I'm trying to work on an exit strategy for just myself and the lady with whom first contact was made.

The night doesn't get any younger... and as morning kicks in, and the DJ keeps the records spinning, the aforementioned lady of mystery starts visiting the restroom quite frequently; resulting in my suspicion as to her whereabouts. I make a move towards the direction where I last saw her. Where I notice her grinning at some other motherfucker with a gold tooth.

Where I conveniently bump into her and she starts acting all weird. At this point I realise I have successfully wasted my whole night preparing this here girl for the dude in question. Coz clearly this idiot has spent absolutely nothing towards the reward he's most likely to be receiving later in the night/morning from the girl.

Great.

Just great.

Obviously this unfolding of events all starts with the free or halftime entry at the door.

So please, from all the guys out there who've had chicks hijacked off their arms... rethink your strategies please.

**end note: The events depicted in this post are totally fictitious, if you happen to have been blessed with such an event in the past, and this has reminded you of how much of a loser you are. Then tough!**

:P

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I'm never drinking again!

Ever muttered those wonderful four words after a long night of excessive drinking???

You know you have....

Anywayz, last night I went clubbing with a few of my friends with our sole mission being to see this guy...

And right now, I'm not feeling very well... My head is pounding...

Funny enough while you're drinking, the last thing you think about is how you gonna feel the next day. You don't even get the signs of how bad your hangover's gonna be...

anywayz.... I'm out... I think I need some sleep or something....

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Same faces different places!

Been a while since my last post but anywayz, here goes...

Now, I'm not the only one who thinks this but it just irritates the crap out of me that almost on every other channel (SABC1,2,3 & e) you always see the same actors playing different roles.

The first question I always ask myself is "WHY?". A simple 'why'. Why can't we get to see fresh talent on the silver screen for a change. Just somebody who's tryin to crack it into the industry, instead of people you've been watching since 1999. I mean why do people still go study Drama if all we ever get to see is the same people everywhere. In ads, sitcoms, presenting and even voice-overs... everywhere.

All I'm asking for is some new faces to do the same things these 'veterans' are doing. I'm not saying they should quit acting, but they should rather give the noobs a chance.

It's okay to see people you know playing some serious roles in soapies like Generations and stuff, but when you see someone who's been acting longer than you care to remember in a lousy role like on that new teen soapie on eTV it just gets kinda depressing. In my eyes they sorta lose credibility, that can't be good...

Anywayz, just my two cents!

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