In the event of my demise

I know this could be considered morbid or taboo or whatever, but I've been presented with death twice this week. First yesterday, and just a few minutes ago we were informed that a colleague passed away this morning.

So it got me thinking, not that I haven't been thinking about it or anything, but it just brought back that reality that death comes unexpected.

Even when someone's sick and they've been sick for months, just the thought of them being there one day and gone the next, makes you think long and hard about what we take for granted. About what we leave behind, who we leave this things to. How people are gonna cope with your passing.

At least that's what I was thinking about while everybody else was busy singing hymns...

Made me really wonder what people are gonna say about me on the day of my memorial service. I wonder. What good memories will they have to conjure up to make me look like the saint that I'm not? What are those things that I do with or to people and not consider the memory I leave with them to deal with? I wonder.

A lot of people don't actually take the time to tell people that they're doing a good job. Or just thanking them while they're still alive. These are the very same people who cry the most at funerals. The ones who faint. The ones who cry the loudest. I don't wanna be that guy. I don't wanna be that guy who doesn't say what's on his mind - be it good or bad.

That's one of the reasons why I am the way I am. If I like something I will say that I like it. If someone does something good, I will commend them on it. That I will do without fail. On the flip side, as much as good things are praised, bad things also need to be condemned!

I'd hate to be that guy they talk about in a nice way at the funeral. That guy that no one wants to say a bad thing about. I don't wanna be made into a saint. I am a human being. We all have our flaws. It's our mortal duty to see the good and bad in others and ourselves and to give credit where it's due.
Not to wait till someone's in a wooden box on their way down a 6-foot-deep hole. That's what I'm about.

So... in the event that I should meet my demise. I'm sure it will be the right time. As much as people might say "it wasn't his time"... I'm sure it would be the perfect time. I don't know when that might be, but I sure hope it's not anytime soon. I still have a lot I want to achieve. A lot I want to do. Not only for myself but for others as well. I know God doesn't read my blog, but I'm not writing this to/for him. I'm writing this for the world. Friends, foes and the indecisive.

I don't want people to get the wrong impression about me.

I hope and pray that I will have achieved all the things I'm set out to. I hope I will have touched as many lives as I was meant to. I hope I become all I was/am meant to be. I hope all those I leave behind have more good memories of me than bad.

I hope and pray, people don't forget me. May they never forget who or what I am/was. As selfish as it may sound, I hope people never "move on" from my passing. I want them to never forget me. Ever.

Don't worry, I'm not dying.

I'm just saying... in the event of my demise.