The people at McDonald's know me...

As soon as I get to the counter. The wiater (...or whatever they're called) knows what I'm gonna eat. Large McFeast Deluxe + coke no ice.

It's kinda creepy at times. Funny, but creepy just the same.

I don't blame them though. It's probably the only other meal on their menu that actually tastes like real food. I've been hooked on it since they introduced it during the last World Cup or something...

So today. I decided to go against the grain. When the dude said "Large McFeast + Large coke" I said "no, gimme the number 7 with large coke & no ice".

I have to say. that was the biggest mistake of my life so far. The patty was freakin hard. I think they overdid it a bit.

Oh well, I guess I'ma have to go back to my McFeast...

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nu chick on teh blok

So, I met this other chick last week Tuesday. She pretty hot. Cute, got dreads. Probably longer than mine...

Only one thing that turns me a bit off about her. She sounds like a 13yr old on the phone.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Face2face, she's absolutely okay. She goes to TUT, nad stuff. So I'm no craddle snatcher. :)

I've only seen her that one time, and since then we've been talking on the phone... We had made plans to hook up this coming weekend, but I'm gonna surprise her and call her tomorrow to ask her out... The nice thing about that is... she wont be expecting it at all... top marks for me :)

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I think I fucked up!

So this is what happened late yesterday. After having finished my previous post.

I called her and we agreed she'd come over later today.

I'm not too sure that was a good idea because we'd had a fight over the phone just before we arranged to continue face2face today.

I'm don't really wanna fight her though. I don't want this to be one of those messy break-ups I never want to think about. Or even for us to end up hating each other or anything like that.

I'm gonna try my best not to start yesterday's fight again.

I want to be able to hit it anytime without having to apologise and beg for it. I want us to still be cool...

anywayz.. I'm out

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The 17 month breakup!

Yeah, so this is it.

Monday I broke up with my girlfriend. Not a big deal really. Only thing is that I'd been with this girl for about 17 months or so...

Let me tell you what happened that led to Monday (and the reasons why I dumped her)...

I met this chick at work. It was her first day and I kinda liked what I saw. So I decided to persue her... which I did. I later found out that she had a dude. Who lived outside the country (Botswana to be exact) They had met at varsity, so since she'd come to work in GP (and a few months before that) distance had already started to take it's toll on the relationship, as a result. They weren't necesarily as close as they used to be. But the love was still there apparently. because they'd been together for around 3 years or something.

So now, the months went by and we got very very close, we became the best of friends. Able to talk about anything and everything. Obviously at the beginning I wasn't seeing her as the mother of my kids and wedding bells and stuff like that, it was kind of a companionship thing. Although at the beginning I was also involved with someone, but it was nothing serious. I broke it off as soon as I met this new one. With no hopes of building anything serious or anything like that...

I couldn't trust her
As time went on, we had gotten so close, that her relationship with the dude (let's call him AB) was starting to seriously bother me. Because I felt like everytime she went back home or to Botswana, she would make sure that she hooked up with him.

She's a liar AND I couldn't trust her!
At around June, last year, I was chilling at my flat and she called me telling me she'd be going somewhere with her cousin. I wasn't bothered by this because she'd gone somewhere with her cousin before and she was alright.

I only found out later that night that she was nowhere near her cousin for a whole 4 hours. She had gone out with some dude who she claimed had known for a while from back home. So that seriously pissed me the fuck off. I couldn't understand why she'd said she would be going out with her cousin.
She couldn't come up with any good reason. Even the bad ones sucked.

So that night I spent most of the night in tears cause she'd fucking lied to me (repeatedly) simply to go out with someone she knew I was against her seeing. <- does that make sense?

Anywayz, after a whole lot of begging and pleading and crying and apologising, which took almost the whole week, I forgave her, but assured her that I could never ever trust her again.
(that was in June '06)

I ended up having to talk to this motherfucker, telling him to stay the fuck away from my girlfriend. He didn't wanna listen, claiming that they just friends and there's nothing for me to worry about. Bullshit, I wasn't gonna be taking advice from somebody who was meddling in my relationship knowing I existed. Fuck him.

...she fucked up again

October '06, she fucked up one more time, for good measure...

She started flirting with somebody in the same company we worked at. 'Behind my back', or so she thought. I was fully aware of what she was doing. Until one day I confronted her about it. Told her to stop this bullshit before this goes too far and somebody gets hurt. (that was on a Friday)

Then the following Monday, the flirting starts all over again. I make her aware that I know what she's up to, only then does she tell this mofo to back off a little coz quote "somebody doesn't like it" I was like what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?!

So later on in the week I confront her again, and only then does everything stop. I asked her what she was trying to do, and all I get is some stupid "nothing was going on" crap!

At the end of '06, they (AB & she) broke up coz AB was busy sleeping with somebody else and managed to let it slip during a phone conversation to her. [shame, poor bastard]

So anywayz, let me just fast forward to last week Friday...

So she had went home this past weekend, and was to return on the Sunday. She was supposed to start a new job on Monday...

In the mean time, we had had a fight over some lousy sms she'd sent me. So things were a bit tense over the weekend. We didn't speak much.

So on the Sunday she returned, and we chilled for a while but things were still not okay.

The Monday morning (of the breakup), I was supposed to go to work but then decided I wasn't going anymore. Made up some excuse to my boss that I was going to see a dentist later that day (which was true, but I could've still went to work).

So she leaves early to get to work. I walk her to go catch a cab, then I returned to my place, where I just chilled for a few seconds before she'd call to say she'd left her phone behind and that I should please switch it off for her.
That's when I started getting supicious. Then instead of doing what i was told, I decided to conduct some private investigating of my own. I went through her SMS inbox, and there was nothing there. OK. Then I proceeded to her call register. Went through her dialed calls, then noticed AB's number. This came as a surprise, because she had said to me that she didn't have airtime over the weekend which is why she never called me. Which I belived at the time, but now I was a bit confused. How is it possible that she managed to call him and not me. What the hell was going on here...????

So I checked her received calls, and saw that he also called her. That was fine. There's pretty much nothing I can do to stop him from calling. But they had broken up, why the fuck were they calling each other if they had broken up months ago??

I went back to her Inbox, to check if I had missed anything. I hadn't, there was nothing there. I think she had deleted all the SMSs they were sending each other.

This serously pissed me the fuck off!!

A few minutes later, she calls her own phone; obviously to check if I had switched it off, which I hadn't.

After that, she calls my phone, and asks me why I haven't switched it off yet. I tell her becuase she doesn't have voicemail, might as well at least see who called [Missed calls] so she can call them back or something. Instead she tells me to switch it off regardless, coz "you-know-who" might call.

That angered me even more. I was like "What the fuck is that supposed to mean, I thought you had broken off all comuncation with him." she says "I have." I'm like, "Fuck that, I know for a fact you two have been calling each other." She's like "SO!!" then habgs up. Obviously I'm feeling kinda helpless coz I can't call her back and give her a piece of my mind. So I decided to fucking dump her as soon as she walks though the door...

So I go to my dentist appointment...

As soon as I got back, I went straight to her stuff and started packing everything. All the stuff I had bought her, her photos, her underwear, EVERY-FUCKING-THING!

Later on in the day, when she got back, she tries to act like nothing's wrong. She comes in, asks me where her phone is, I point her to it, and as she goes to get it; she realises that all her shit's been packed and in full display. She turns to me and says "are you dumping me?" and I say no. Coz that would have been to easy and too painless. So I call her to the livingroom, where we site on the couch and i try to reason with her. I ask her to explain exactly what the fuck is going on between her and AB. She says "nothing" it was just a phone call.

after a lot of raw bullshit coming out of her mouth...

I told her that I wasn't gonna stand for this anymore. Asked her what else she was hiding from me, and that I'm not gonna sit around and wait for her to break my heart again. That she'd done that way too may times already. I told her that I don't wanna be with someone like her anymore, that if they were sorting things out behing my bcak i wasn't gonna sit around and wait to get dumped for somebody else. ANd that she's gonna fucking infect me with AIDS coz she'd obviously be sleeping with us both at some point. That I didn't trust her AT ALL and that I want absoltely nothing to dowith her. Which is why I packed everything that belongs to her. And everything I've ever bought her. I didn't/don't want anything that has anything to do with her.

That took around 2 to 3 hours...

At the end of it, she went the whole "I love you so much" route. But it had no impact or even an effect on me. Coz I had had over 8hours to prepare myself for everything. I had broken up with her, made up, dumped her, hated her, called het "bitch" so many time within that 8 hours that whatever she said just bounced off of me.

When she was about to leave, coz I had also kicked her the fuck out, she decided that she was gonna give me space and give me some time to be okay, and that I should call her when I'd made peace with everything so we could get back together.

It was obvious that this bitch didn't get the message, so I just agreed to that just to get her the fuck out of my face.

needless to say, she's till waiting...

There's only one more thing that's left behind, I forgot to pack it coz it was separate from her stuff, a vase I used to always buy her flowers with... <- I don't think that makes a lot of sense... anywayz...

I still have quite a lot on my chest so I'm gonna dump all over again when she comes to get it...

**aaaaahhh so much pain, so little time**

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