Tuesday 27 December 2011

Social Numericals

I have this thing where I wonder why people follow or add me on social networks. Each time a new person follows me, I wonder what it is that I said that made them want to find out more about me. I wish I knew the answer. It would probably make me a bit more paranoid though, so I guess it's good that I don't know.

I have over 700+ friends on Facebook and 100+ friend requests, 500 followers on Twitter, and I get new followers on Tumblr almost weekly - I'm at 76 now. And 63 contacts on Flickr.



It makes me feel abit uncomfortable and a bit self-conscious. That there's someone out there reading/watching/listening to what I have to say.

Puts a bit of pressure on my sometimes. Especially after a new follow/add/like. I feel like now I have to make this person feel that they've made the right choice by following/adding me as their friend/contact/whatever. Needless to say that only lasts a short while, then I'm back on my level again.

I really appreciate all the people that use their free will and right to choose, and click on that follow/add/like button.

Really appreciate it.


*this started as a status update on Facebook. Then I couldn't find the Add Note link. So I thought why not put it on my blog, since it's gonna spread all over the other social networks anyway? So that covers that. Happy 2012 and beyond!

Be.
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Tuesday 15 November 2011

@KylaPratt has a baby... So what?


Is it so wrong if someone chooses no to advertise her baby and/or pregnancy to the whole world?

I, for one, absolutely don't think so!

But clearly, for the masses over in Hollywood, who seem to have nothing better to do with their time, it is a crime punishable by stoning!

Yesterday, a tweet showed up on my timeline talking about how Kyla Pratt has a "secret baby". So, me being the curious cat I am, I clicked on the link to find out more.

And this is what I came across:
According to popular online gossip site, child star Kyla Pratt just dropped a bombshell on national TV!

The actress ... ... confirmed baby rumours which had apparently been doing the rounds and revealed that she has an almost 1-year-old baby girl after secretly giving birth a year ago.

[source]

So what?! How is this anyone's business anyway?

I see no reason for her to publicly announce the existence of a baby in her life. But alas, that's not what this is about, I'm more interested in blogs going crazy about her having a "secret baby".

Does the fact that she's well in her mid-20's count for nothing?!

If she wants to have a baby, then let her, I don't see how this is anyone's business. Claiming that she has a secret baby is basically saying that she shouldn't have hidden the fact that she was pregnant or even the obvious fact that she's now old enough to bear children. And well within her rights to do so.

Maybe the fact that Vuzu is still airing old episodes of One on One, where Ms Pratt is in her early teens, is what warrants the urge to publish the story on their website.

So I guess everyone and anyone who has ever been on TV owes it to the world to share whatever that is personal to them? I doubt it.

Anyway, I'm off it.

:p
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Friday 21 October 2011

All the phones I've ever owned...

Just finished browsing through a blog post on one of my favourite web design blogs. ( The Evolution of Cellphones)

Decided to compile a list of phones I've ever used since the first time I ever saw a cellphone, up until right this very moment.

Let me begin...

1997-ish
Motorola

This phone from Motorola was the very first cellphone I ever held in my hands. EVER! Back when the SIM card was like a phonecard that you had to slide in at the back of the phone. I still remember that it was a Vodacom number.
I remember my amazement when my grandfather came home with this phone that didn't have a cord, and had a screen like a calculator. It was some futuristic stuff. I remember the first thing we did was call our landline phone. Just to see if it actually was a phone. Good times.

The legen... *wait for it* ...dary Nokia 5110. (brand new)

The first phone I was ever bought. The very first phone I ever owned. I'm sure I'm not the only one. :) I loved playing Snake on this mammoth of a machine!
When those screen personalising things first came out, I was the first one to have it back in high school. I had NoFear on it, and later had BadBoy. Had to remove the BadBoy one though, because it was during that part of my life when I was heavily into 2Pac and Hit 'Em Up and all that, so yeah...
Also when custom ringtones came out, I was there!!! :)

Nokia 3210

My dad had this phone. Playing Snake on it was so much more rewarding because it vibrated every time the snake ate something. Also, it had better ringtones and NO ANTENNA! This was revolutionary!

Nokia 6150
After the 5110, I upgraded to the evolutionary 6150. Was pretty much similar to the 5110, but had a slimmer battery. And infra-red - which I never used. But I had it, and hey, that was something worth bragging about. Got it from my dad after he upgraded to the revolutionary 3210. So it had sentimental value. Kinda.


This is also the first phone I ever lost. I was climbing into a taxi, must have fallen out then. Worst feeling ever! Since then I've been very protective of EVERYTHING electronic! EVE-RY-THANG!

Nokia 3310
(brand new)
The came... The greatest phone to ever do it! The best phone ever made, in my opinion! I'd buy this phone if I ever saw it sold anywhere! IN A HEARTBEAT!

My Snake playing days were filled with even more awesomness than ever before! The snake could eat other bonus "fruit"! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING?! Fruit! That was a game-changer right there! I could basically "snake" through walls! I don't think you're hearing me.

This phone also came with an astonishing amount of memory for SMSs and call records. The old limit of 5 calls were a thing of the past. This one had 8! Do you have any idea how many missed calls that is?! That's right... EIGHT!!! The SMSs were also not limited to 160 characters like all the other phones I had owned before.

This was the second phone brand new phone I ever owned since the 5110. So I treated it extra nice. Wiped it clean before going to bed. It was special.
Had to give it to my grandmother because she didn't have a phone at the time.

Nokia 3510
Also inherited from my dad. I never really liked this phone. Sure it had a colour screen and orange flashing lights when it rang, but still. Nothing exciting! And it was heavy as a ton of bricks! Compared to my trusty 3310.


Samsung SGH-R220
(brand new)
After leaving high school, I wanted a phone that no one else had. Everyone I knew pretty much had the 3310 or some other Nokia phone, so I was looking for something special. I liked that it had blue backlighting and that you can assign an LED light to a contact. Not that I ever checked the light first before answering, because I could assign my own ringtones to people now. *pause for effect*
Did you get that? I had a phone that could MAKE ringtones. Another 1up on Nokia users at the time.

Motorola e398 Jukebox

Soon as I got myself a job, the first thing I did was get myself a phone. And that phone had to reflect the new me. The more grown up me. So I got me this..

Which I still have, to this day! Still works too. :) I loved the super loud stereo speakers it had, and that it was called a "Jukebox". A name it lived up to every time it rang! People around me hate its loudness, but I beamed every time music played from it!

When my contract was due for an upgrade, I went back to the Nokia side of things. The greatest Nokia phone since the 3310. The 2MP Carl Zeis camera was what made me love the phone even more than it's 2GB memory card.

I used every single feature this phone had. From video calling, to video recording, to emails, to everything else in between. I miss this little black number! :'(
Nokia N73 Music Edition

It's a pity that after two years of trusty service delivery from this small wonder, the screen stopped working, but I still used it regardless. At some point I was taking pics without even needing to preview them. I was one with this phone.

While waiting to get another phone, I bought myself a small "I'm-between-phones-right-now" phone, in the form of...

Nokia 1100
A lot of people had this phone, for different reasons. Some used it as an alternative phone, for when the super fancy smartphone had a low battery, or one they could use for other people to reach them on. Clearly I was now part of this elite society. Only downside is that I didn't have an alternate phone. This was the only phone I had! But my excuse was that I was in the transition phase, from button phones to touchscreen.

And indeed I was. While everyone was getting excited by the many many buttons on the Blackberry, I was more focused on getting a phone with the least buttons as possible.

After seeing an HTC Touch for the first time, I knew I had to have it.

Then while I was still trying to figure out if I was really ready for a button-free lifestyle, the Touch Diamond came out.

At that very moment, I knew I was ready!

So this is the phone I'm using right this very moment.
HTC Touch Diamond 2
Has so many features, at one point you can't believe!

It's like having two phones in one.
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Friday 26 August 2011

Oh noes!

Turns out, you're a devil worshiper and don't even know it.


According to the internet, everything anyone's doing, watching or even listening to is associated with the devil.

Anything I do with your hands? = devil sign.

Anything I do with your eyes? = devil sign.

Anything you're listening to RIGHT NOW?! = devil sign.

Any logo you see? = devil sign.

Any movie you watch? = devil sign.

The list goes on and on. And there's nothing you can do about it. Just accept that your every movement is devil-related. And apparently any musician/artist/person who says or has ever said "...sold my soul..." is referring to the devil.

Needless to say, I don't believe in all this nonsense.

Why is it that anything and everything popular is associated with the devil? Why is he given so much credit? I've blogged about this before and it's just ridiculous how he's given so much power and credit through every single thing that people can come up with. Didn't God create everything? Didn't He create everything good and bad alike? Isn't He the one who gave us all this fingers and hands and installed muscles and tendons to allow them to bend and twist any which way we want to twist them in? He did, didn't He?




So why are his very own creations (humans) turning everything else that he created into a devil symbol? God created goats, stars, and trillions of other things that have now been credited to the devil. In all my years of existence, I have never, ever ever heard of one single thing that the devil created. Not one.

Now everything that surrounds us is credited to him. What you wear, how you wear it, why you wear it... all that is now satanism? Why?

If I choose to wear my Chuck Taylor All-Stars today - you know, the one with the star - am I part of a "secret society" that worships evil?
I doubt it. Not that I know of anyway. Or maybe it's so secret, I don't even know I'm a card-carrying member! Oooooh! That's spooky.

What do these illuminati enthusiasts suggest we do with ourselves? Not have tattoos? Not wear anything that has stars? Not call people if their phone numbers have a 666 in them? Not twist up your fingers in any suggestive way? Ensure by any means necessary that when you're taking a picture, both your eyes must be visible at all times? What kind of life is that? Where's the variety?

More "analyses" here: http://mediaexposed.tumblr.com/

All I gotta say about this is that these people should stay far far away from Egypt and India. All those hand symbols and pyramids are gonna drive them straight into insanity!
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Wednesday 20 July 2011

It's not you, it's me

Please be advised that the content in this post is NOT SUITABLE FOR SENSITIVE READERS!


Now that we got that out of the way. Let's dissect the happenings of yesterday...

So there I am, just clicking around the internets, and while on Twitter. I see this girl saying something about dark jelly something or other... Being the food junkie that I am. This obvious
Emphasis on: ...dark jelly-like blood clots, ...look like liver.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE AMOUNT OF VOMIT I HAD TO SWALLOW AFTER READING THAT?!

It is at this point that I immediately stop reading and decide that I'm not gonna run the risk of seeing something like this again in the near future, and unfollow this person. But before I do that, because Dineo is a fellow creative. Somewhat. I think it's only fair that I let her know what I'm about to do and that she's aware of the reason why. Hence the retweet.

The plan was, to unfollow her and return to following her after a few days. That's usually how long these things last, right? OK then.

She then decides to reply by saying:
To be perfectly honest, so do I. I really do. I think I might have a more awesome time spoiling a girl rather than a boy. But that's a story for another day.

Anyway, explaining further the reason behind my unfollow. I reply:
After letting my explanation - which was just out of common courtesy - marinade in some of that dark jelly. She decides to take my sheer disgust personal. And says this:
Now THAT was totally uncalled for. How can she insult my follower-count like that?! I blame the jelly!

OK that last part was mean. Obviously the jelly has nothing to do with anything here. Let's not blame it on the jelly.
Let's blame it on the fact that someone mistakes follow-count for .
Internet numbers are just numbers to me. Yes, they represent people who are actually interested in hearing what you have to say and everything else in between. But having 1000 versus having 10 is really no big deal to me. It matters, yes. But I'm not gonna kill myself if I don't reach a thousand followers by my birthday or whatever! (though it would be nice)

I may have 400+ followers and all, but that does absolutely nothing for my ego, personality, or body odour... NOTHING.

This isn't about followers. This is about someone tweeting something that disgusted me and took my unfollowing personal. It's not you, it's me.

I'm the one who doesn't wanna read about your blood clots.
I'm the one who thinks some things, like things involving your reproductive system, should be kept private. Where they belong. Otherwise you might as well walk around with your skirt pulled to your waist every now and to let the world know that there's live-looking jelly in your panties. Go ahead. I dare you to do that. Even for a few seconds. I TRIPLE DARE YOU!

No one in their right mind would ever do such a thing.

So why should your 1000+ followers be subjected to such? Why am I being attacked for choosing to look at the birds in the sky when you figuratively raise your skirt for the world to see?

As much as you see nothing wrong with pulling down your jelly-ridden panties, I see nothing wrong with choosing NOT to read about them.

I know you're reading this and saying, "you could have just ignored it." and you're right. I could have. But then what's the point of following someone and not reading their tweets? Might as well not see them at all. That's my logic, open for discussion.
I read all the tweets of the people I follow. As long as they are on my timeline when I'm on Twitter, then I'm gonna read them. Otherwise what's the point of following 300 people only to read 299 of their tweets?

Again... it's not you, it's me. I'm not sorry for unfollowing you!


:p

Follow me, I promise I wont tell you about blood jelly. @tehPaperCut
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Tuesday 19 July 2011

Behind the music

So, the day before yesterday, I had a good dose of TV. Okay, I'll admit, that sounded waaay better in my head.

What I'm trying to say is, I was spoiled for choice on Monday. Literally. There were at least three good TV shows worth watching. All pretty much around the same time - which sucked. Because I couldn't watch all at the same time.

It's no secret that I prefer documentaries over anything else on TV. If it's a music related documentary; even better!

So on Vuzu, there was a "documentary" on R. Kelly's Love Letter album. Basically it was him explaining the ideas behind the song titles, the album conceptualisation, the track selection, the writing process behind every song on the album. Pretty riveting stuff by all accounts. Good stuff.

While on MTVBase, they had a "day-in-the-life" type of thing on Trey Songz. Where they followed him around for some reason.
Needless to say, I chose to watch the R. Kelly special over the Trey Songz one. Simply because I saw that the Trey Songz one had multiple repeats coming up some time during this week. Today at 16:50, to be specific.

And on National Geographic, they had a behind-the-scenes look at the manufacturing of the latest Porsche. That I didn't watch. Though I really wanted to, just out of curiosity. I'm not much of a Porsche fan. Yeah. So... back to the music.

While switching between the two music specials (in-between ad-breaks obviously) I started thinking about something. About how little we know about our own local music artists. No one really knows the struggles they've gone through. What they're working on now. What actually goes into creating an album, or preparing for a performance, or running from pillar-to-post for interviews or anything along those lines.

Why is that? Who's to blame. Do we blame the artist managers and the artists themselves for not giving their fans a sneak peek behind the music?

I don't think such investments are made into our music industry. The only time you see the artist promote an album is months after it's been created and they're all cleaned up and smiling on TV behind dark shades talking about how their album caters for everyone. And how it's featured so-and-so from where and where. Talking about who they worked with and all that!

Imagine if the artists put out a video, even if it's on YouTube or Vimeo, of themselves actually working with so-and-so and making the music. Imagine the anticipation from the fans. Imagine the hype the video will create around the release of the album. Even if it's a staged "leak" of the footage, pictures, audio, or whatever.

I have R. Kelly's Love Letter album, and I can tell you one thing for sure, after watching those 30 minutes of TV, I felt I had a better understanding of the direction he was aiming for in that album. The "back to the old-school" element behind it. Only afterwards did I understand why there was a Michael Jackson-like song on the album - he wrote the song for MJ before his passing. That explains why I always skip that song.

Anyway. Why is it that all we get from local artists is a two minute interview about an up-coming album?

The two examples mentioned above aren't the only ones I've seen. There's a Nicki Minaj documentary that's always playing on MTV, there's a Drake one as well. Not to mention the famous "The Diary of..." series by MTV.


Why is MTV Base, which claims to be interested in promoting Africa to the world, not investing their resources into our own artists?

Why is it that so few of our local artists have websites or even bother interacting beyond the "I'll be performing at...." updates on Facebook and Twitter? Why not embrace the internet and completely abuse it as a communication tool to the fans?

I stumbled on behind the scenes pics of Kanye and Jay-Z's collaboration album pics the other day. Why aren't South Africans doing this?

Wake up! Give us a peek of what you get up to when there's no make-up artists involved. When there's no limited time to plug your album!

Shout-out to http://www.themakingof.co.za/ for being the local version of True Hollywood Story.
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Monday 18 July 2011

Sticks and stones

Imagine you're just chilling, on a cool Monday afternoon, and you get an email that someone has commented on a website you've been featured on.

So you decide to check it out, then this is what you come a across:






I'm not too sure what exactly it is that this person saw on my Twitter page, but still.

Am I the greatest designer ever? No.
Are my designs the most unique-est thing ever to hit the internet? No.
Is there anywhere on the internet (or anywhere else for that matter) where I claim to be the be-a-and-end-all of all things design? No.
Am I guilty of shameless self-promotion over and over and over all over the internet? YES. YES. And oh hell YES!

Am I gonna apologise for that? No.
Why? Becuase if I don't do it myself, then who's gonna do it for me? No one.

So what if my designs aren't the greatest designs ever to hit the internet since porn?
I never said they were. The sole reason why I put my stuff all over the internet is to get some feedback on what I'm doing right or wrong. Not to be judged on my tweets. Not to be praised either. But to be given criticism. Both positive and negative. If someone is just going to come up out of nowhere and say I need more practice or more humility, then I'm all for that. Lemme know where I need to improve, where my short-comings are. Where my faults are. I'd appreciate that. But the rest of that comment was absolutely unnecessary.

I'm not gonna say "don't mistake my confidence for arrogance".
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Monday 30 May 2011

Vitaminwater is for the birds!

So... over the past few months, I've been trying out different flavours the worldwide phenomenon, Glaceau Vitamin Water.

And the conclusion I've come to is this - Vitamin Water is really nothing but watered down water with flavouring and funky colours. It doesn't taste very vitamin-ey! I don't think it even has any vitamins in it at all actually.

I must admit, the marketing guys over at Coca-Cola did a stellar job in making sure that a part of me WANTS to have this drink in my hand. I wanted to make sure that people saw me buy it and walk around with it proudly freezing my fingers off. Big ups to them!

But the fact remains, it's tasteless.

The first time I tasted it, I had bought the Vitamin-C one. No idea what it's called. I wanted to start off with something a little familiar before venturing into the vast and colourful world of Vitamin Waters...

I haven't hated vitamin C that much in my life. I didn't quite understand why it didn't at least taste like orange. At the very least, a lime! It was like drinking a 500ml mixture of "mineral" water and 20ml orange concentrate. Like they ran out of concentrate just as they were about to mix mine.

However, I didn't let that deter me. I simply blocked my nose, and drown the liquid like the boss I am. Besides, I wasn't gonna let my hard earned money go to waste just like that. I bought the thing, might as well drink the thing, right? Riiight!

So after that horrid experience, I convinced myself that one bad apple can't represent the whole bag, so I tried another one. Then another one, then another one, then another, and another... all yielded the same results - a feeling of "there's something missing here".

So after my last "sample" I decided that this here liquid was not for me. Maybe I wasn't cool enough to be drinking it. Maybe I wasn't under the right social influence. Maybe I needed to hang around with skaters with skinny jeans and Vans. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe it's and "acquired taste" typa thing. Maybe it's like wine. Maybe these were from the bad batch!

I started to blame myself for not liking GVW (I can't keep typing that long ass name).

So... as part of my extensive pro-bono research campaign. I went to the mall today and searched for at least one bottle of the stuff. My mission - to find the nutritional information and compare it to my usual drink of choice - 100% pure fruit JUICE blend from Woolworths!

See what I like about this juice of mine... it tells you straight up... it's a blend! You shouldn't get surprised when you start tasting shades of bark in there. IT'S A BLEND! You'll never know what they put in there. I'm kidding. :)

Those numbers don't mean anything to me. If I want to drink vitamins, I'm sure I'll find a way. Drinking an attempt at "healthy non-carbonated drink", has completely failed.

At the end of the day it's all a flavoured fashion statement. Not for me, thanks.

Sources:
  1. Center for Science in the Public Interest
  2. The Consumerist

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Wednesday 25 May 2011

I am an African

On an occasion such as this, we should, perhaps, start from the beginning.

So, let me begin.

I am an African.

I owe my being to the hills and the valleys, the mountains and the glades, the rivers, the deserts, the trees, the flowers, the seas and the ever-changing seasons that define the face of our native land.

My body has frozen in our frosts and in our latter day snows. It has thawed in the warmth of our sunshine and melted in the heat of the midday sun. The crack and the rumble of the summer thunders, lashed by startling lightening, have been a cause both of trembling and of hope.

The fragrances of nature have been as pleasant to us as the sight of the wild blooms of the citizens of the veld.

The dramatic shapes of the Drakensberg, the soil-coloured waters of the Lekoa, iGqili noThukela, and the sands of the Kgalagadi, have all been panels of the set on the natural stage on which we act out the foolish deeds of the theatre of our day.

At times, and in fear, I have wondered whether I should concede equal citizenship of our country to the leopard and the lion, the elephant and the springbok, the hyena, the black mamba and the pestilential mosquito.

A human presence among all these, a feature on the face of our native land thus defined, I know that none dare challenge me when I say - I am an African!

I owe my being to the Khoi and the San whose desolate souls haunt the great expanses of the beautiful Cape - they who fell victim to the most merciless genocide our native land has ever seen, they who were the first to lose their lives in the struggle to defend our freedom and dependence and they who, as a people, perished in the result.

Today, as a country, we keep an audible silence about these ancestors of the generations that live, fearful to admit the horror of a former deed, seeking to obliterate from our memories a cruel occurrence which, in its remembering, should teach us not and never to be inhuman again.
I am formed of the migrants who left Europe to find a new home on our native land. Whatever their own actions, they remain still, part of me.

In my veins courses the blood of the Malay slaves who came from the East. Their proud dignity informs my bearing, their culture a part of my essence. The stripes they bore on their bodies from the lash of the slave master are a reminder embossed on my consciousness of what should not be done.

I am the grandchild of the warrior men and women that Hintsa and Sekhukhune led, the patriots that Cetshwayo and Mphephu took to battle, the soldiers Moshoeshoe and Ngungunyane taught never to dishonour the cause of freedom.

My mind and my knowledge of myself is formed by the victories that are the jewels in our African crown, the victories we earned from Isandhlwana to Khartoum, as Ethiopians and as the Ashanti of Ghana, as the Berbers of the desert.

I am the grandchild who lays fresh flowers on the Boer graves at St Helena and the Bahamas, who sees in the mind's eye and suffers the suffering of a simple peasant folk, death, concentration camps, destroyed homesteads, a dream in ruins.

I am the child of Nongqause. I am he who made it possible to trade in the world markets in diamonds, in gold, in the same food for which my stomach yearns.

I come of those who were transported from India and China, whose being resided in the fact, solely, that they were able to provide physical labour, who taught me that we could both be at home and be foreign, who taught me that human existence itself demanded that freedom was a necessary condition for that human existence.

Being part of all these people, and in the knowledge that none dare contest that assertion, I shall claim that - I am an African.

I have seen our country torn asunder as these, all of whom are my people, engaged one another in a titanic battle, the one redress a wrong that had been caused by one to another and the other, to defend the indefensible.

I have seen what happens when one person has superiority of force over another, when the stronger appropriate to themselves the prerogative even to annul the injunction that God created all men and women in His image.

I know what if signifies when race and colour are used to determine who is human and who, sub-human.

I have seen the destruction of all sense of self-esteem, the consequent striving to be what one is not, simply to acquire some of the benefits which those who had improved themselves as masters had ensured that they enjoy.

I have experience of the situation in which race and colour is used to enrich some and impoverish the rest.

I have seen the corruption of minds and souls in the pursuit of an ignoble effort to perpetrate a veritable crime against humanity.

I have seen concrete expression of the denial of the dignity of a human being emanating from the conscious, systemic and systematic oppressive and repressive activities of other human beings.

There the victims parade with no mask to hide the brutish reality - the beggars, the prostitutes, the street children, those who seek solace in substance abuse, those who have to steal to assuage hunger, those who have to lose their sanity because to be sane is to invite pain.

Perhaps the worst among these, who are my people, are those who have learnt to kill for a wage.

To these the extent of death is directly proportional to their personal welfare.

And so, like pawns in the service of demented souls, they kill in furtherance of the political violence in KwaZulu-Natal. They murder the innocent in the taxi wars.

They kill slowly or quickly in order to make profits from the illegal trade in narcotics. They are available for hire when husband wants to murder wife and wife, husband.

Among us prowl the products of our immoral and amoral past - killers who have no sense of the worth of human life, rapists who have absolute disdain for the women of our country, animals who would seek to benefit from the vulnerability of the children, the disabled and the old, the rapacious who brook no obstacle in their quest for self-enrichment.

All this I know and know to be true because I am an African!

Because of that, I am also able to state this fundamental truth that I am born of a people who are heroes and heroines.

I am born of a people who would not tolerate oppression.

I am of a nation that would not allow that fear of death, torture, imprisonment, exile or persecution should result in the perpetuation of injustice.

The great masses who are our mother and father will not permit that the behaviour of the few results in the description of our country and people as barbaric.

Patient because history is on their side, these masses do not despair because today the weather is bad. Nor do they turn triumphalist when, tomorrow, the sun shines.

Whatever the circumstances they have lived through and because of that experience, they are determined to define for themselves who they are and who they should be.

We are assembled here today to mark their victory in acquiring and exercising their right to formulate their own definition of what it means to be African.

The constitution whose adoption we celebrate constitutes and unequivocal statement that we refuse to accept that our Africanness shall be defined by our race, colour, gender of historical origins.

It is a firm assertion made by ourselves that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, black and white.

It gives concrete expression to the sentiment we share as Africans, and will defend to the death, that the people shall govern.

It recognises the fact that the dignity of the individual is both an objective which society must pursue, and is a goal which cannot be separated from the material well-being of that individual.

It seeks to create the situation in which all our people shall be free from fear, including the fear of the oppression of one national group by another, the fear of the disempowerment of one social echelon by another, the fear of the use of state power to deny anybody their fundamental human rights and the fear of tyranny.

It aims to open the doors so that those who were disadvantaged can assume their place in society as equals with their fellow human beings without regard to colour, race, gender, age or geographic dispersal.

It provides the opportunity to enable each one and all to state their views, promote them, strive for their implementation in the process of governance without fear that a contrary view will be met with repression.

It creates a law-governed society which shall be inimical to arbitrary rule.

It enables the resolution of conflicts by peaceful means rather than resort to force.

It rejoices in the diversity of our people and creates the space for all of us voluntarily to define ourselves as one people.

As an African, this is an achievement of which I am proud, proud without reservation and proud without any feeling of conceit.

Our sense of elevation at this moment also derives from the fact that this magnificent product is the unique creation of African hands and African minds.

Bit it is also constitutes a tribute to our loss of vanity that we could, despite the temptation to treat ourselves as an exceptional fragment of humanity, draw on the accumulated experience and wisdom of all humankind, to define for ourselves what we want to be.

Together with the best in the world, we too are prone to pettiness, petulance, selfishness and short-sightedness.

But it seems to have happened that we looked at ourselves and said the time had come that we make a super-human effort to be other than human, to respond to the call to create for ourselves a glorious future, to remind ourselves of the Latin saying: Gloria est consequenda - Glory must be sought after!

Today it feels good to be an African.

It feels good that I can stand here as a South African and as a foot soldier of a titanic African army, the African National Congress, to say to all the parties represented here, to the millions who made an input into the processes we are concluding, to our outstanding compatriots who have presided over the birth of our founding document, to the negotiators who pitted their wits one against the other, to the unseen stars who shone unseen as the management and administration of the Constitutional Assembly, the advisers, experts and publicists, to the mass communication media, to our friends across the globe - congratulations and well done!

I am an African.

I am born of the peoples of the continent of Africa.

The pain of the violent conflict that the peoples of Liberia, Somalia, the Sudan, Burundi and Algeria is a pain I also bear.

The dismal shame of poverty, suffering and human degradation of my continent is a blight that we share.

The blight on our happiness that derives from this and from our drift to the periphery of the ordering of human affairs leaves us in a persistent shadow of despair.

This is a savage road to which nobody should be condemned.

This thing that we have done today, in this small corner of a great continent that has contributed so decisively to the evolution of humanity says that Africa reaffirms that she is continuing her rise from the ashes.

Whatever the setbacks of the moment, nothing can stop us now! 
Whatever the difficulties, Africa shall be at peace! 
However improbable it may sound to the sceptics, Africa will prosper!

Whoever we may be, whatever our immediate interest, however much we carry baggage from our past, however much we have been caught by the fashion of cynicism and loss of faith in the capacity of the people, let us err today and say - nothing can stop us now!

Thank you.

"I am an African" is the title of a speech made by Thabo Mbeki on behalf of the African National Congress in Cape Town on 8 May 1996, on the occasion of the passing of the new Constitution of South Africa. At the time Mbeki was the vice president of South Africa under the presidency of Nelson Mandela. The speech defined the political mood of the moment in post-Apartheid South Africa and enhanced Mbeki's reputation as a political orator, in which respect he has been likened to Martin Luther King Jr.
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Friday 25 March 2011

Big Beautiful Women


If there's one thing I don't understand, is why chubby/hefty/thick women don't like themselves. Obviously not all of them are like this, but the few that don't, really disturb something deep within me.

As much as we can blame the media for portraying beauty as some skinny size zero model, that doesn't mean you as a bigger woman, have to comply.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being bigger than your peers. Nothing wrong with not being able to wear what your friends wear. Absolutely nothing.

I understand that being bigger poses a bit of a threat to your health but who said you can't be bigger and still live heatlhily? Who said just because you're slightly over a certain weight, you have to eat a full chicken, a loaf of bread and two litres of Coke? No one. There's absolutely no reason why can't be you and still enjoy a proper meal every now and then. Instead of living off of celery sticks and peas.

It seems the trend nowadays is being a certain size. It's become more and more prevalent in the entertainment industry with musicians like Jeniffer Hudson and Marsha Ambrosius (from Floetry) looking like runway models.

Marsha before...
Marsha now...
I for one don't find skinny women attractive. I don't care if it's in your genes or not. Fast metabolism or not. Skinny is just not for me. Sorry.

Look at Chrisette Michelle for instance, she's not too skinny or too fat. She's just right, why can't that be the acceptable body size being marketed? More especially to out Black sisters who are comparing themselves to skinny White models all over the magazine covers. Before you pull out the race card, I know it has nothing to do with sking colour. Being skinny doesn't really go hand-in-hand with being of African descent. Ask anyone you know.

I don't understand women who say most men like skinny women for whatever reason. It's like saying most men like huge breasts and small behinds. Granted, some might, but not all of us do.

If only people would learn to love and accept the bodies they were born in. This world would be a much better place.

Me. Out.
Kisses to all my thick women out there!

DEUCES!!!
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Wednesday 23 February 2011

Poor people making threats!


I'm sorry, but I just gotta be honest.

I hate poor people. I hate poor people, convicts, drug addicts, and anyone along those lines. Actually anyone who considers themselves "reformed" in any way is also hated by I.

Yes. HATED. Strong word, right? I know. I used it.

Before you get off your high horse to attack me... lemme explain.

You know how when you're chilling at home on a lazy weekend, watching TV and as you're channel surfing your way through the 50+ channels you've been blessed with... someone on some reality show (or whatever) just pops up with eyes full of tears and disgusting drool dripping from their mouths talkinf about how poor/violent/abused/bad/unfortunate/miserable they are/were?! <-- that's one sentence by the way. ;) Yeah, those people. Those are the typa poor/abused/violated/unfortunate/miserable people I totally hate!

Espcially the ones on "reality shows". They'll be all up on your TV screen talking about how they absolutely have to win. Based solely on the fact that they're poor/miserable/unfortunate or whatever sad excuse they can come up with.

These are the people that'll say something like "If I don't win this competition, I'm gonna end up on the streets again" or "I'm doing this for my family back home in the 2 roomed shack sleeping on an empty stomach every day"

I don't care too much for such people (see what I did there?). Those are the very people that shouldn't even be on such shows in the first place.

That's all good and well. And if by any chance you actually are talented and I think you deserve to win, then hells yeah! I'll vote for you. I'll vote till my fingers go numb or my airtime runs out. Whichever comes first. I'll vote till my fingers bleed and my phone overheats. Bottom line: I WILL support whatever it is you're trying out for.
But one mistake you shouldn't do is this... DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME WITH POVERTY! Or crime, or violence, or whatever misfortune you're faced with in your life. That has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you're good or bad at whatever you're doing. NOTHING.

Don't be all up on my TV talking about if you don't win, you're going back to a life of crime and drugs and all that hogwash. I DON'T CARE! As a matter of fact, as soon as you mention anything along those lines, I'm completely discarding your attempt at anything you're trying to achieve.

If you really wanna win something or want to achieve something. Don't come up trying to use your background/past as a reason why you deserve to win or achieve that particular something. I genuinely don't care.

It's a pity that not a lot of people follow the same principles as me. Else we would be so much better of as a race.

Whose fault is it that you're poor/miserable/unfortunate? I dunno. And I don't care. Don't your misfortune to gain whatever you want. If you're talented you're talented. Leave it at that. Don't come and say the reason you're so good at whatever you do is because you're poor and it's all you have/had. Don't come and pull the pity card on me. It ain't happenin' yo!

I DON'T CARE!

I guess it's a well known fact that South Africans have a weak spot for poverty and misfortune. I think that's the reason why so many people pull the pity card when the moment calls for it. Doesn't work on me though.

Ok. Rant over. Normal programming will resume shortly.

:p
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Tuesday 22 February 2011

Dear drug smugglers

It's come to my attention that a lot of drug dealers and drug smogglers alike, are getting their stash confiscated ALL THE TIME...

So, as a way to help the hustlers out, I've come up with a few ways of how they can prevent getting their "coke" locked up. Or even getting themselves locked up!

Let's go...

First off. Let's point out some obvious facts...
  1. Drugs are normally a white powder.
  2. Weed/marijuana/dagga is commonly transported they way it's grown... in plant form.
Why is it that when the druggies wanna ship their stuff, they always wanna use some impractical means like aerosol cans and hair products and such? Obviously if a can of hair spray is heavier than it should be, that's gonna raise some alarms. Be smart. Stop and think a moment... What other options are there? What would pass straight by customs and across that airport security sniffer-dog to get your shipment safely to where it's headed?

Come on... think. Think. Think!

Got it? Not? Okay, lemme help you out here...

You ready? You sitting down? You NOT high? Are you writing this down? OK.

Think outside the box a little. What's the one thing that the cops won't ever think of suspecting? What's so obvious that it actually isn't obvious? Think bruh, come on! I'll tell you what... If you're in South Africa, I'm sure you're very much familliar with this here product... It's called Grand-Pa. It's basically ground aspirin.

I know, you didn't think of that one did you? Nooo!

It's simple, all you have to do - being the 5-star druggie you are - is basically find a way to get your drugs into those sachets. Think about it, all your hardwork will be done for you! You don't have to worry about packaging, shipment or import/export taxes! I'm not actually sure if there are any taxes charged on drugs, but anyway...

How are you gonna know which of the boxes that leave the factory/warehouse are yours? Now that's totally up to you to figure out. But I can give you an idea, simply because I'M THAT GUY!
All you have to do is get someone on the inside to put your coke into the packaging machine. Then get more guys to keep track of that specific batch of Grand-Pa. Dunno how you're gonna pull this one off, but still.
This brilliant little idea is from the 1968 movie, Inspector Clausseau. You should watch it.

Next up, weed. How to get it from point A (usually Swaziland or Durban) to point B (usually Joburg) without a trace. Simple. Much like the first stroke of genius. This one also involves an inside job.
Get someone who works at a tea making company. Specifically the teabagging department. Even more specifically... the green tea department. Get them to bag your stuff for you. Simple. How many people/dogs will even suspect normal teabags to contain an illegal substance? I can't think of any. Can you? I didn't think so.If all else fails, then set up your own packaging and distribution factory and start a company that will deal directly with your most trusted clients. This might take you a while and not to mention, millions and millions of capital. Good luck with this one.

I'd suggest you take my advice and go with the first ideas though.

Peace out!

Bookmark this! You can thank me later...
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