Friday 26 June 2009

The King has fallen


Damn, I was so shocked to hear the death of the World's greatest performer. The man who made wearing pants that don't touch your ankles with white shoes the coolest thing ever.

The guy who I was convinced, after seeing the music video to Do You Remember, was a magician. The part where he turns himself into dust to avoid being captured by Eddie Murphy's men.

The mini-movie Thriller, where he changed from human to zombie to human to zombie again, had me completely convinced that the late Michael Jackson had some magical superpowers.

His walking on tiles and how they glowed, also fooled me into believing that he had some sort of electricity constantly flowing through his body. I mean, how many people do you know who can make concrete glow as they step on it? Exactly!

You can't blame me, I was young and believed everything I wathed him do.

His videos were by far the best thing to watch. Wathing him dance had me believe that I could move just as smooth.

The world's greatest performer!

May his soul rest in peace.
I'm really sad that he died. He's always been one of those people you never think they'd die. He was back on tour for godssakes!


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Thursday 25 June 2009

Before I die

I refuse to die before [in no particular order]:
  1. Attending the Carnival in Rio de Janiero - Brazil

    What more could I possibly ask for? Happy people, music, singing, dancing and not to mention the hot hot hot weather!!!

  2. Chasing cheese down a hill - Gloucester, England
    Might sound stupid to you, especially if you're a girl, but nothing beats anything that provides the rare opportunity to potentially break your neck in pursuit of... ...wait for it... a round of Double Gloucester Cheese down an extremely steep and uneven hill!!! YEAH!!!

  3. Rocking it at the Cape Town Jazz Festival - Cape Town
    Again, a killa combination: music, a good time, some 1000+ people having a good time and some nice outdoorsy weather! Aint nothing better!

  4. Rollercoaster-ing at Ratanga Junction - Cape Town

    1 reason: the adrenalin rush!

  5. Bungee jumping off of something - The World

    see reason on #4

  6. Chilin' on the ocean in Mozambique

    Beach + hot weather + Portuguese food = happiness

  7. Going to the Umhlanga Reed Dance in Swaziland

    Two birds with one stone, (1) I'll be in Swaziland and (2) I'll be witnessing another history chapter added to the King Mswati book - him marrying yet another wife. As if 14 isn't enough. pshh!!

  8. The Zulu Reed Dance in KwaZulu Natal

    I've always wanted to witness this. :)

  9. Going to one of the Channel-O patries in Swaziland

    I hear they're the best parties to go to this side of the Vaal, I wanna be part of the temporary migration come December!

  10. Being part of La Tomatina - Valencia, Spain

    The potential risk of getting hit in the eye with a tomato has always appealed to me. The mess of it all. I likes it!!

**Looks like this is gonna be one of those lists I need to update as I go along.
Hopefully I'll update it, unlike this one...

;)

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Wednesday 24 June 2009

Pay attention... this is about you!


So you're probably wondering what brought this on. And well, to be honest, I just decided to write this especially for you! Yes you!


I wasn't gonna write anything, but considering I said I would, I have no choice but to stick to my word. It's what I do.



Question: How come guys who seem really really interested in you just fade away?
Answer: Conquest!

Long story:

There's this friend of mine (ok, she's not really a friend, I just know her) who's having issues with keeping a guy. Not a particular guy, just any guy who comes along.


She thinks something's wrong with her. So she comes and sobs on my shoulder each time the guys leave.


To be totally honest, I don't blame them for leaving.


You're not such a cool person to hang with. I, for one, am irritated shitless by your stupid giggles. You giggle at everything and anything that you see on TV. Even if it's a drama series on TV, you still find a reason to giggle.

Granted this might be confused with having a "bubbly personality". But come on! There's only so much bubbliness a guy can take till they realise that you have nothing more to offer than what you already have.


So you're sitting there reading this and thinking... "but, I've always been like this??". Yes, true as that may be. One thing makes this situation different to how you "have always been".


You hadn't slept with the guy yet!


Harsh, I know. I said it.


Let's get back to the issue at hand here...


Guys will stick with you through everything and anything; and I mean everyfuckingthing... EVERYTHING!!! If you haven't slept with them yet.


We'll overlook the fact that you have a bit of a breath issue, or that your hands are a bit ashy...

We're willing to overlook the fact that your one les is a bit thinner than the other. That doesn't matter, what matters is what's inbetween those legs.


Once that hurdle's jumped over and the guy has had enough of what you had to offer, that's it. Then your flaws start becoming the main focal point. Sticking through any more of this torture is subject to prospective bonking somewhere in the not too distant future...


So there you have it...
**upon getting to the end of this, i realised this is true for a lotta girls out there...
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Starry starry night...

So this guy...

Who works here...


Was asked to do a pretty eaasy job. A job he basically does every day. He's a tattoo artist. His name: Rouslan Toumaniantz a nice innocent looking guy you wouldn't really wanna bump into in a dark alley on any given night.

read more on my tattoo blog...
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Monday 22 June 2009

A guide to success (GUARANTEED RESULTS)

Key to success
Ok. Let me preface this by saying that... THIS WORKS!

As usual, this here post is filled with nothing but awesomeness, mixed in with some hardcore facts. Are you ready to change your life forever?? Huh? I can't hear you!!!!?

Right, let's rock...

As you may or may not know, I never finished my tertiary education. So that means I don't actually have a diploma or degree or anything along those lines. So first chapter (quick: grab a pen or print this page...) where was I?

Oh, first chapter: Drop out of school.



You might think this is the easy way out. Coz you might actually hate going to school and learning something at this point in your life. (note: 'school' in this article, refers to any form of tuition you may be recieving right now)
Here's why I'm saying you should quit school:
  1. School can never teach you talent.
Yes, there's only one reason... And that's about it. School can guide you on how to harness whatever talent you're born with and actually put it to good use for the benefit of some large corporation. This is all good and well. But lest we forget one thing. You might actually not want to spend 40 years of your life wearing chinos to work for 40 hours a week. You might actually have dreams and aspirations you may wanna explore. Stuff that's not in your Management textbook. Stuff that only the university of life can teach.

You can spend your whole life fixing computers, but once you realise that you wasted a good 3-4 years learning about bits and binary only to wake up one morning, start cutting up some clothes only to become a renowned fashion designer. Then lesson one becomes ever more necessary. This isn't something you need to spend two days thinking about. You need a lotta time.

Maybe you're just one of those people who's had their whole life carefully planned out and cast in stone. Basically your life has always revolved around some sort of norm. i.e. You were born > went to kindergarten (creche) > primary school > middle school > high school > varsity > work > retirement home > death bed > grave heaven or hell > eternity.


Maybe that's just the way you were meant to live. Unfortunately for you, no one in the world can come and tell you that you're supposed to life in a different way to how you're living at the moment. No, not even me. It is your life afterall. So in the end, as you jot down the last words in your will, you'll come to realise you didn't actually live the life you wanted. I bet that's exactly what the guy who coined the phrase "live life to the fullest" realised as he lay on his death bed.

Anyway...

What I'm saying here is that you spend a large part of your life living the life that everybody else is living. This is what could pretty much be compared to a rat race: there's already a tunnel/path set out in fron of you, and before you even know you're halfway through it.

Chapter 2: Study IT (i.e. Information Technology)

Yes, the big bad highway where information meets technology. Funny enough, it seems this is the right path follow if you happen to find yourself somewhere in between the middle of lesson 1 (in school). If you don't actually wanna quit school. Don't fret. Just hang in there or just jump the boat and make the switch to IT.

All the great minds of this world studied IT. Some happen to have studied IT and actually dropped out halfway (that would be me). That right there is pure genius. Surely success is busy nibbling at your heels at this point.

I mean look at the richest dropout in the world - Mr William Henry Gates III. That's Bill Gates to you and me.

This dude, dropped out of school only to later become the richest man in the world at the ripe age of 38.

Now, I'm not saying if you quit school you'll be filthy rich by age 38. I'm just saying... you gotta follow your heart. ...and study IT ;-) LOL.

Another guy who studied IT but didn't get very far - Olebogeng Ledimo the guy behind the House of Olé fashion house.

A great example of talent versus tuition.

For gender equality purposes, I'm gonna throw a woman into the mix (even though the 2:1 ratio doesn't make anything equal) ...aaah, look at that womanly smile! :)

...aaah, look at that womanly smile! :)

Simphiwe Dana - she studied graphic design. But have you actually seen anything she's designed lately? I didn't think so. You wanna know why? Coz she decided to venture further into the creative field and become a musician. Not because she sucked as a graphic designer, but because she didn't see herself NOT doing what her heart really wanted. She didn't see herself on her death bed wishing for a second chance so she can stand in front of thousands of people and sing her heart out. And look where that got her... awards.

Chapter 3: Quit your job

Now, I'm partly a good advocate for this. (insert unapologetic self promotion face here)...

But I don't wanna talk about myself. The focus is on making you successful. Maybe even more successful than I am (again, insert relevant face here).

Do you hate waking up early on a Monday morning and already with it was Friday?

Then that right there is reason enough to leave.

Do you spend 80% of your time scheming on ways to make it big?

Another damn good reason for you to resign with immediate effect!

If you feel you can do ABC better than the next guy, then why not go for it? If you feel you'd much rather be selling donuts, then what are you waiting for?

If you hate taking instructions from your dropout boss. Then leave and become your own I-quit-my-job-for-this boss!! And make your own rules!

If your heart isn't in what you're doing then leave!! It's that simple!

Use the recession as an excuse if you have to...

Chapter 4: Love what you do, do what you love!

If you're sitting there thinking you've got no reason to quit anything. Then good for you. But do you have a degree in Phsycology and are busy typing memos for your dropout boss? That alone is enough to make you reconsider!

On the other hand, if you love typing memos and feel that phsycology degree makes you a better friend to your suicidal best friend, then cool. If you've found your passion doing what you love then, by all means, stick to it!

I'm glad to have lived (and still be living) a life that allows me to have done everything mentioned in this post.

Moral of the story...

Follow your heart! Do what you love doing! Drop out of school! Leave work! Do something with your life!!

Here's a quick list of other inspirational drop outs:

  1. Michael Dell-founder of Dell Computers: billionaire - he read chapter 2, and loved it
  2. Steve Jobs-co-founder of Apple Computers: billionaire - also inspired by chapter 2
  3. Steve Wozniak-co-founder of Apple Computers - him too
  4. David Geffen-co-founder of Dreamworks, SKG
  5. Larry Ellison-founder of the database company Oracle: billionaire - chapter two manifests itself once again
  6. William Hanna-of the cartoon producers Hanna-Barbera - chapter 3 & 4
  7. Sheldon Adelson-real estate and casino owner: billionaire
  8. Jack Taylor-Enterprise Rent-A-Car: billionaire
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Wednesday 3 June 2009

This sucks

hellogoodbye
I lost the one song I haven't heard in ages...

One of my very many favourite songs... "Here In Your Arms" by hellogoodbye.

Can you believe the only reason I noticed this song was missing was after I was singing along to Van Hunt's "Hello, Goodbye"?? Sad really.

Only afterwards did I realise I hadn't heard the hellogoodbye (it's lowercase on purpose) one in ages...

Shame. Sad sad day for me then...

:'(

Think I should get me this DVD to soothe my aching heart -> OMG HGB DVD ROTFL.
pic from: go211.com
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Tuesday 2 June 2009

Lunch break in your car!


I just don't understand this.


So it's lunch time right, and you're feeling a bit hungry coz you may have skipped breakfast for some reason...


That's all good and well.


When the clock strikes 1pm, the only thing on everyone's brain is... foood. Nobody cares if they're supposed to be recieving an important email. Everybody can't wait to throw the world famous rhetorical question: "...can we do this after lunch?".


Which is understandable, I mean we are after all entitled to at least one hour's lunch every day.


Everyone goes their own separate ways; and cliques everywhere get together to strategise on eatery to invade.


But there's always that one guy (yes, it's usually a guy) who's always spinning his car keys around his index finger as he heads towards the parking lot. If it wasn't for the lunch box under his arm, you'd think he was headed somewhere to grab a serious bite. But no!

He's not going anywhere. He's just going to his 'special place' where he's far from any sort of distractions as he munches away merrily at the contents of his favourite lunch box.


I often wonder what makes guys do this...


I've basically concluded that it's probably because the food is just so crappy, you don't wanna be subjected to comments from your colleagues and random onlookers for eating stuff they can't immediately identify.


Either that, of your wife (of whoever prepares the food for you) doesn't know her pots from her pans, so your food is always a surprise when it comes down to the eating part. So you'd rather be suprised in the privacy of your own automobile. LOL!


If it's none of those then you're probably one of those weird people who hum while eating or you make scary sounds that you can't explain.


If not that, then you share your office with people that never go out on lunch so they're forever trying to make irritating small talk about everything that's happening on their computer screen.

You know those people? Who talk no matter what. Even if you have the phone to you ear, they insist on saying something to you. If they see you're clearly busy on the line, they make hand signs. (I hate those people)


Anyway. Whatever your reason is for not eating in public is, I'm sure you have a very reasonable exuse for that. It probably reasonable to you only anyway.


Please don't think we're weird if we stare into your car trying to figure out if it's being stolen or not.


Come to think of it. Your eating in the car is actually a sure-fire way of ensuring that no one cares if there's an unknown person fiddling around under your steering wheel...


Have you thought about that??
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