Poor people making threats!

I'm sorry, but I just gotta be honest.

I hate poor people. I hate poor people, convicts, drug addicts, and anyone along those lines. Actually anyone who considers themselves "reformed" in any way is also hated by I.

Yes. HATED. Strong word, right? I know. I used it.

Before you get off your high horse to attack me... lemme explain.

You know how when you're chilling at home on a lazy weekend, watching TV and as you're channel surfing your way through the 50+ channels you've been blessed with... someone on some reality show (or whatever) just pops up with eyes full of tears and disgusting drool dripping from their mouths talkinf about how poor/violent/abused/bad/unfortunate/miserable they are/were?! <-- that's one sentence by the way. ;) Yeah, those people. Those are the typa poor/abused/violated/unfortunate/miserable people I totally hate!

Espcially the ones on "reality shows". They'll be all up on your TV screen talking about how they absolutely have to win. Based solely on the fact that they're poor/miserable/unfortunate or whatever sad excuse they can come up with.

These are the people that'll say something like "If I don't win this competition, I'm gonna end up on the streets again" or "I'm doing this for my family back home in the 2 roomed shack sleeping on an empty stomach every day"

I don't care too much for such people (see what I did there?). Those are the very people that shouldn't even be on such shows in the first place.

That's all good and well. And if by any chance you actually are talented and I think you deserve to win, then hells yeah! I'll vote for you. I'll vote till my fingers go numb or my airtime runs out. Whichever comes first. I'll vote till my fingers bleed and my phone overheats. Bottom line: I WILL support whatever it is you're trying out for.
But one mistake you shouldn't do is this... DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME WITH POVERTY! Or crime, or violence, or whatever misfortune you're faced with in your life. That has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you're good or bad at whatever you're doing. NOTHING.

Don't be all up on my TV talking about if you don't win, you're going back to a life of crime and drugs and all that hogwash. I DON'T CARE! As a matter of fact, as soon as you mention anything along those lines, I'm completely discarding your attempt at anything you're trying to achieve.

If you really wanna win something or want to achieve something. Don't come up trying to use your background/past as a reason why you deserve to win or achieve that particular something. I genuinely don't care.

It's a pity that not a lot of people follow the same principles as me. Else we would be so much better of as a race.

Whose fault is it that you're poor/miserable/unfortunate? I dunno. And I don't care. Don't your misfortune to gain whatever you want. If you're talented you're talented. Leave it at that. Don't come and say the reason you're so good at whatever you do is because you're poor and it's all you have/had. Don't come and pull the pity card on me. It ain't happenin' yo!

I DON'T CARE!

I guess it's a well known fact that South Africans have a weak spot for poverty and misfortune. I think that's the reason why so many people pull the pity card when the moment calls for it. Doesn't work on me though.

Ok. Rant over. Normal programming will resume shortly.

:p

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Dear drug smugglers

It's come to my attention that a lot of drug dealers and drug smogglers alike, are getting their stash confiscated ALL THE TIME...

So, as a way to help the hustlers out, I've come up with a few ways of how they can prevent getting their "coke" locked up. Or even getting themselves locked up!

Let's go...

First off. Let's point out some obvious facts...

1. Drugs are normally a white powder.
2. Weed/marijuana/dagga is commonly transported they way it's grown... in plant form.

Why is it that when the druggies wanna ship their stuff, they always wanna use some impractical means like aerosol cans and hair products and such? Obviously if a can of hair spray is heavier than it should be, that's gonna raise some alarms. Be smart. Stop and think a moment... What other options are there? What would pass straight by customs and across that airport security sniffer-dog to get your shipment safely to where it's headed?

Come on... think. Think. Think!

Got it? Not? Okay, lemme help you out here...

You ready? You sitting down? You NOT high? Are you writing this down? OK.

Think outside the box a little. What's the one thing that the cops won't ever think of suspecting? What's so obvious that it actually isn't obvious? Think bruh, come on! I'll tell you what... If you're in South Africa, I'm sure you're very much familliar with this here product... It's called Grand-Pa. It's basically ground aspirin.

I know, you didn't think of that one did you? Nooo!

It's simple, all you have to do - being the 5-star druggie you are - is basically find a way to get your drugs into those sachets. Think about it, all your hardwork will be done for you! You don't have to worry about packaging, shipment or import/export taxes! I'm not actually sure if there are any taxes charged on drugs, but anyway...

How are you gonna know which of the boxes that leave the factory/warehouse are yours? Now that's totally up to you to figure out. But I can give you an idea, simply because I'M THAT GUY!
All you have to do is get someone on the inside to put your coke into the packaging machine. Then get more guys to keep track of that specific batch of Grand-Pa. Dunno how you're gonna pull this one off, but still.
This brilliant little idea is from the 1968 movie, Inspector Clausseau. You should watch it.

Next up, weed. How to get it from point A (usually Swaziland or Durban) to point B (usually Joburg) without a trace. Simple. Much like the first stroke of genius. This one also involves an inside job.
Get someone who works at a tea making company. Specifically the teabagging department. Even more specifically... the green tea department. Get them to bag your stuff for you. Simple. How many people/dogs will even suspect normal teabags to contain an illegal substance? I can't think of any. Can you? I didn't think so.If all else fails, then set up your own packaging and distribution factory and start a company that will deal directly with your most trusted clients. This might take you a while and not to mention, millions and millions of capital. Good luck with this one.

I'd suggest you take my advice and go with the first ideas though.

Peace out!

Bookmark this! You can thank me later...

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