[#1] Dear you... (aka the letter)

Hey,

I'm hoping you're alright coz I sure am.

I've been wanting to talk to you for quite a while now. If only you'd taken the time to pick up your phone.

Anyways... here goes...

I saw you on my way to the post office. You and your friend walked by me like you didn't even see me. That was cool though, coz I most definately saw you.

For a while after I saw you, I just wanted to get to know you and get close to you somehow. I went about my merry way, to the post office, and while I was there, you were all I could think about. Luckily for me, there were only a few people ahead of me. I grew impatient as this old lady was having some kinda difficulties understanding the difference between fast mail and normal mail.

When it was finally my turn with the teller, I tried to be as quick as I could and it worked out just fine. I was in and out of there as quick as I could.

I got out the post office, and finally you were the only thing on my mind. I walked as fast as I could hoping to see you in the vacinity of where you were. I walked opposite the direction you were going, hoping to run into you again. Didn't happen.

I walked back through the mall again hoping to see you. I couldn't even remember what you were wearing, all I had was your smile. I started feeling like maybe I shouldn't have let walked by me without having said anything.

When I got outside the mall, I looked accross the road for any two girls walking and talking, hoping to recognize you again. Just when I was about to give up and was heading back to the office, there you were... in your green t-shirt with an african woman printed on it. Your brown pants, the bangles around on your left hand. I soaked everything in, making up for the little I had to refer to moments earlier.

You looked up and saw me staring. I tried to play it cool, but our eyes met and I couldn't look away. I had to say something to you. I greeted, you smiled, and I knew you felt something too.

I stopped you to talk for a while, you told me your name, I had to hear it again, so I asked you to repeat it. You smiled and said it again... Linda. Linda, I didn't expect anything like that. No idea why, I just didn't. Your friend giggled as she noticed what torture you were putting my heart through...
After your failed attempt at playing hard to get, I finally got your number. Every number sounding like I was only hearing it for the first time in my life.

We parted ways and I couldn't wait to hear you voice again. So I called, but at least I had a damn good excuse... to give you my number.

The call lasted a good nine seconds, but afterwards I wished it had lasted longer, but afterwards I couldn't think of anything valid to say to you. I just walked back to the office with absolute happiness in my heart.

Nothing could ever take that from me.

I got to the office and played a Chris Brown song by mistake, a song I had never even heard before in my life. I figured this could be a good sign, and played it for the rest of the day. Copied it onto my phone and played it everywhere I went. It had all the word I had wanted to say to you should you ever ask me what I really want from you. Especially the chorus.

(song name: I Wanna Be, album: Exclusive lyrics:here)

That night, I went to bed early because I didn't wanna wait too long for it to be the next day...

I had never felt this way about anyone before, so I waited a good 3 and a half hours before I could call you. I had woken up at six in the morning. It didn't make sense to call someone so early on a Saturday morning.

I called the first time at around half past nine, and you didn't pick up. I talked myself into beleiving that you could still be sleeping or something. Nothing could get me off the cloud I was on. I decided to try again later. I thought to myself 11 sounds like a pretty good time to call. So, I did. Again, you didn't pick up.

I had to get some web design files from work, so I called you from the office phone. You picked up. Told me you had left your phone at home and had seen that I had called. At the back of my mind, I kept asking myself why you hadn't called then if you had seen my numerous attempts at getting hold of you?

On the phone you told me you were out of town for a while but would be back in an hour's time and I could come see you then.

I called you about 3 hours later from my phone... you didn't pick up. I called again a few minutes later, still... nothing.

I called again a couple of times later. A few hours apart. Nothing.

On my way from the internet cafe, I went to a public phone to call you with the coins I had gotten as change. You picked up.

By now I was starting to feel like you were avoiding my calls on purpose. I was convinced you weren't really as into me as I had initially thought. My day had gone from the best day in a long time to one of the worst. All because of some girl who mugged me, in the mall the day before, and had stolen my heart. You were slowly and slowly becoming an irritant. Everytime I called you and you didn't pick up, the part of my heart you had left behind, came up with some excuse to defend you.
I couldn't understand why you had given me your number if you weren't gonna pick up when I called? Why didn't you at least tell me that you had someone in your life (which is the excuse I told myself and have settled for)?

During the call from the public phone, you told me you had been driving and couldn't pick up when I called the million times before. And that you were still in Midrand and weren't sure when you were gonna be back in Pretoria. I asked you to call me when you finally get back here becuase I couldn't stand listening to the ringing of your phone anymore. Obviously i didn't say that to you. That was the little voice in my head starting to see you in a different light.

I'm not defending the stalkers of this world when I world when I say this, but the fact that I could never get hold of you, made me feel like finding you and confronting you demanding an answer to why you never pick up when i call you from my cellphone.

But I just told myself that if I could freeze those few minutes outside the mall and keep them with me for a lifetime, then I would. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. (except the freezing part, lol)

In case you were wondering why I'm not calling you anymore, it's because I deleted your numbers from my phone. Even though they stuck in head for now, but I'm sure that too will pass, just like the love I had for you lasted for only a weekend.

But ultimately, I realised that it's all really your loss...