Why oh why...???

Why is it that when you meet a girl, she's all cute and shyish, and giggly and stuff, then next time you see her she's either... a breathing zombie or an ADHD freakazoid!?!?

This time I was dealing with the latter...

I just don't understand this.

Ok, so you meet someone, you like how they iz. You like the way they basically are.

And for some unknown reason, I seem to bring out these freaks in these girls. Then they on some...

oh, I feel so free when I'm with you. Like I can just be myself...

I say... BOOLSHYT!!!!!

Why didn't you be "yourself" when I first met you??? Now I'm gonna have to come up with some seriously crazy stories to get rid of you!! Shit.

you bring out the liar in me...

I think I'm gonna start another blog called "I'm not that into you! (ways to tell if teh PaperCut is not that into you..."

ok, back on topic...

I met this other chick on Monday, we got talking about food & cooking and stuff, so she goes, "you should come by my place sometime so I can cook for you" I'm like HELL YEAH!!

So we set a date for Thursday (yesterday). I get to her place, turns out they don't allow guys into the building. She suggests we eat outside. I'm thinking FUCK NO!! There's no way in hell I'm eating outside, in the dark, like I'm some homeless charity case WTF!!!!?!?!

So I had to think fast... so I suggest we go to my place instead. She get's the food so we can bounce!

While I'm waiting for her outside IN THE DARK. Her cousin comes running towards, me calling my name... I'm like who the fuck are you supposed to be!?!?! And she comes and sits next to me and starts talking about how she's heard so much about me and shit.

So I'm thinking... oooooookay... you're freaking me out here...

So the chick comes back and I ask her about the crazy cousin, and she says to me, she only told her she was going to be with me today (the Thursday), and that she had told her who I am. I'm thinking, "you don't even know WHO I AM, what the fuck can you tell her?"

So we head to my place... on the way, she blabbin about how "forward" her cousin is. How fucked up the system at YWCA is. How tired she is from doing aerobics at the gym... yadda yadda yadda...

So basically in those few minutes (maximum 5) I had gained knowledge of the following information:

• That there are 62 girls in that building
• Two floors
• +- 5 baths & 5 showers on each floor
• that if they find a guy in your room you're kicked out within 24hrs
• that her bursary is paying for her to stay there, therefore she doesn't have a choice
• i also know that her sister used to stay her before her and recommended it...

All the while I'm thinking... oookay... that's great. During this monologue, I'm showing less and less interest hoping she would read between the lines and have a nice cup of STFU! But noooooooo.... she sees it as a sign to tell me more and more and more...

So we get to my place and now the focus changes... everything's about me now...

• What I do?
• What I "majored" in?
• Where home is?
• What type of music I like?
• Do I go to church?
• What I drink?
• If I have "a whole lot of friends"
• If I've ever "chopped" off my hair? (I losely translated that into proper English, and came to a conclusion that she meant if I've ever "cut" my hair.)

I try to keep my answers as short as possible so she can learn from my example, that not everything has to be a novel.

But this approach didn't work out very well. As you can imagine, I'm bored out of my skull...

I eat the dry food as quickly as I can. So she'd have nothing else to keep her at my place.

I keep looking at my phone hoping somebody calls me so I can at least escape even if it's only for those few minutes. But nothing. In fact, I think my phone was more silent yesterday than all the previous days... I was even hoping one of my neighbours would come borrow a cup of sugar or something... but nothin still.

I checked the time and it was now 20:56. I look at the watch, look at her, and she promptly announces... there's a 10 o'clock curfew!

OMFG you gotta be kidding me!!! I'm stuck with this blabber-mouth for the next hour??? nooooooo!!!!!!!

She's all grinning about it coz that means we still have some time to hang...

Clearly misinterpretting the blood coming out of my ears...

Plus she's too damn loud. I'm pretty sure my neighbours and everyone passing outside my flat knew I was with a girl and heard every last word she said.

back to the eating...

After finishing her chow, she starts telling me about...

• ...how her dad likes complaining about how sweet her food is.
• ...how "black" her dad is. Meaning he's very African in his thinking and everything.
• ...how she sometimes doesn't feel like adding salt to her food.
• ...how her five sibblings are all female and that she's the second-last born.
• ...how much she likes soccer. And how she doesn't like to be disturbed if a Sundowns game is on.
• ...how drunk she was after drinking Savanna Dry... [she even quoted the Savanna ad... "it's dry but you can drink it"] and also how she had no choice coz she prefers Jameson and Red Square, but had to compromise coz they we both not available.
• ...how she only drinks on weekends.
• ...how she ended up getting locked outside YWCA coz she only arrived there after 10.
• ...the different security doors at YWCA to make sure no one can come in un-invited...

As you can see... by the end of the night (21:54) I knew absolutely everything about this girl. E V E R Y F U C K I N G T H I N G!!!

Obviously there would be no need for me to see her again. I know everything already. There's absolutely nothing more she can tell me that I don't know already. Unless she left something out... which I doubt.

Just when I'm about to head back to my place after walking her to her place, she goes... "what time are you knocking off work tomorrow?"

Again... I had to think fast... I told her... "aaahhhh, I think I'm gonna be working overtime or something, I'll call you though and let you know if anything changes, okay? *fake smile*"

She smiles back and says... "Hopefully I'll get to see you and we can chill for longer than we did today."

I'm like... "yeah"

while at the back of my mind I'm thinking... "yeah right, there's no way in hell I'm ever spending time with your verbal diarrhea (sp?)! Don't be surprised if I never call or see you again. EVER!"

*~end~*

PS: For the good of mankind... I'm gonna start a series of posts with the theme "I'm really not that into you!"