Oblivion

I keep saying to myself that if I were a musician, I'd be long forgotten by now.

Main reason for this is that I've been feeling a bit useless lately. Though not completely.

Maybe "useless" is a bit of a strong word — unproductive, maybe.

Yes, unproductive.

As you may, or may not know, I consider myself a creative. A designer for/on many different media.

But recently, I haven't really been feeling like a creator of any sort.

I have a lot of ideas that remain just that — ideas.

I can't seem to find the time or energy to realise the ideas into physical/digital form.

One the web design side of things, I have done a lot of sketches (by hand) that still need to be digitized. Now, do I think they'll ever get digitized? No. Why? I dunno.

I've designed a lot of new stuff for my clothing company 27 Degrees Clothing, yet they too might never see the light of day. Why? I have no clue.
Maybe I'm just worried I might print them in their droves and no one will like them. Maybe the same applies to the web designs. Maybe someone might think they are a bit too "out there" and different.

Maybe I'm just scared of my own potential success. Speaking of... I was chatting to a person on Twitter a few months/weeks ago and she mentioned a condition where procrastinators suffer from a thing called "self-sabotage".
Now, I know in this age of new conditions popping up everywhere you go, it's pretty easy to attach oneself to the next big thing. But... after reading up on the "condition", I think I might be part of that group of people.

Self-sabotage is not an act, it's a process, a complex, tragic process that pits people against their own thoughts and impulses.

Well, it's no secret that I'm a procrastinator. But at the same time, I feel that I'm more of a planner than just a get-up-and-do-it kinda person. I do more planning than actual action. And that's a bit of a problem for me.

Yeah, that was my lame attempt at justifying my "I'll do it later" ways. Sad attempt at that.

Maybe I am a self-saboteur.

When it comes to self-sabotage, procrastination is king.

I must admit, when I started writing this post, I had no idea where I was going with it. Ended up opening up a lot about my innermost thoughts. Strange. Hope no one finds this. ...as I publish across all web platforms. :) LOL!