Zulu girls got serious ass in Joey's

edit: 29/10/2008 - for some serious ass... click here

So there I was on one chilly Friday morning, boarding a train deep into the ever busy city of Johannesburg. (aka Jozi/Jo'burg/JHB... and more recently "Joeys") Like most of my trips, it was just for one day.

While waiting for the train to fill up and people to settle down so we can get going. I realised something...

First let me explain this...

There are 3 trains that leave go from Pretoria to Jo'burg (that's what I perfer to call it btw) every morning.
There's the 1st class one (Express). Used mainly by people defined as middle to higher income employees. Then there's the higher income to I-can-buy-this-flippin-train-with-all-of-you-in-it boys & girls who can also be classified as 'employers' (the Business Express). Then last but not least, there's the just-in-case-I-don't-make-it-tell-my-mother-I-loved-her train (aka 3rd class). That's the one you get on when you basically have nothing to live for and have just found out you've got 3 months to live.

I was on the first one.

And I noticed something. Like on the aeroplane trip, business people are so self absorbed they hardly take notice of anything or anyone around them, all they do is, get a seat, wait for the hostess lady to give them their morning paper and hot coffee then that's it.

While on the other train, the Express, it's more of a bus/taxi/train experience. You get to sit with people and discuss whatever's on their minds. Sure we don't solve the world's problems in there, but you at least get to know people, you get to interact with people you wouldn't normally get a chance to encounter on a daily basis.

I have no idea what happens in the other train, so I won't bother. But based on the anger and hatred some of the people that either got thrown off (not litterally) or "detained"; all I could gather was that you have to at least have a uniquely identifiable scar on the side of your face (which I have, but I know I just wouldn't survive that side).

And hour later, we end up at Park station. I jumped off, and started making treks towards the Constitutional Hill, where I was supposed to spend most of my day. I went, and on my way there noticed that the Civic Theatre was closeby. So I went to chill there overlooking the wonderful Joburgers walking to work or to school or wherever...

Out of all the similarities Joburgers have... the fast walking, fast talking, the intensity in their eyes as they walk past you...

One thing caught my eye the most. Especially when it came to the ladies around the area where I was.

There are some basic things that tell you you're now officially in Johannesburg. Here's a short list of things you can just check if you're not sure:

• Most of them speak Zulu... [check] (even if most of them aren't even native Zulus, for some reason Zulu seems to be the accepted Joburg lingo)
• Most of them walk in small groups of three or so... [check]
• Are they walking faster than your average early in-the-morning pace? [check]

And the most defining factor of it all...

• Do the girls have thicker-than-your-average asses? [check] [double check and check again] - for some serious ass... click here

This is just one of those things that distinctly set Joburgers apart from everywhere else I've been.

Cape Town girls: fucking beautiful, nicely curved bodies, rich long hair (real not plastic). Usually a bit vertically challenged. But damn pleasing to the eye.

Bloemfontein girls: Loud. Materialistic. Probably has a baby. LOL! okay I can't really say much about Bloem chicks, only started analysing people recently. But soon as I go home, I'll be sure to give a proper postmortem. :)

Pretoria girls: Studying. Shares a flat with their sister's cousin twice removed. LOL!

I guess my affection for the Mother City is pretty clear and biased. Sue me.

Back to...

First of all, I'm not very particular when it comes to the female form, but one thing that is undeniably a prerequisite is most definately a behind a brother can be proud of. :)

And it seems the best place to find this particular prereq has got to be Joburg. Even the ugly girls got ass in Jozi.
So when you come face to face with that girl with the shaven-off eyebrows -replaced by a line, and the highly flamable plastic hair; spare a thought for the ass and sneak a peak as she walks by.
It'll make up for the fugly face you just encountered. Trust me.
Do it for the team!

On my way back to Pretoria, I decided to get a taste of some high life, and got on the Business Express. It's damn comfortable. Eish. Now I understand why people tend to say nothing. Soon as they sit down. But luckily I got to chill with some Black Diamonds, so it didn't feel so stuck up.